Why Saying That Mean People Are Not Happy With Themselves Is Harmful To Survivors
So many ‘healing’ messages for survivors are actually making excuses for abusers. This quote is no different.
There are so many awful messages on social media geared towards survivors of abuse and trauma. Most of these messages are meant to help the survivor ‘heal’, make sense of their trauma, or tell survivors how they should ‘move on’. While these messages might seem well-intentioned, all too often, they are rooted in victim-blaming, disrespect, and invalidation.
There is a viral post on social media that says, “Only people who are not happy with themselves are mean to others.”
When I saw it, I was instantly alarmed that such a horrible victim-blaming message had reached the eyes of so many people, many of whom were probably in some way a victim of mean people.
Why was I alarmed by this message? Because this statement is FALSE.
Many perpetrators and ‘mean’ people are very happy with themselves. They harm because they make the choice to harm. They harm because they want to. They harm because they like it.
Not only is the viral message incorrect, but it encourages compassion for perpetrators, which is exactly…
