Dames get to keep their names

Demi Korban
demikorban
Published in
2 min readApr 26, 2017

Ever since historical times, men have been responsible for constructing what a woman is and what her rights are.

Just like in any other dichotomy, women must be given the full right to express their own self in their own way without the fear of men’s ideologies.

Here comes tradition, where the man automatically possesses the woman after marriage through exchanging her family name with his.

But why? Why is it that only a single woman could keep her family name? Why does this tradition in itself feed the patriarchal system?

If we indeed want equality, we should acknowledge that there are some things women can do that men can’t and vise versa. However, equality aside, women should have the chance to keep their family name just the way men do because women are equally as important in preserving their family lineage.

So, why not have women keep their family names and men keep theirs too, and naming the child would be a mutually agreed-upon decision or a mix of both family names, where the child gets to choose which they’d like to keep when they grow older?

The tradition doesn’t stop there. When the couple have a child, the son is automatically named according to the man’s father so that the lineage could be repetitive.

Traditions are beautiful but not when they are over exaggerated in a way to protect man and only man’s name.

Women are just as worthy and successful to choose to name their children based on their preferences too.

Today, the stand should be that women keep their family name after their marriage as a way to preserve the past she had lived with her family, which made her who she is today.

Her identity can never be replaced by the husband for it is her inner circle that is responsible for it, and names should never be another excuse to claim possession and dominance.

Definitely, people may disagree to this thought, but it’s important to get it out there.

Traditions come and go, but women are here to stay, strong and thriving to make their own image in a world of complexities.

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