Choosing to LOVE my Body.
This is the second day of my writing experiment. It seems so simple — a selfie and a meditation/reflection every day for a while…8 days, 8 weeks, 8 months…how long will I go? I don’t have an answer this morning, as my focus must remain in the present moment — today is only Day 2.
Here I am, my required daily selfie…in pajamas. HA! There was a time when I wouldn’t have allowed such a photograph to be taken of me, let alone published on my blog. Things are different now…
In gentle contemplation, whilst in pjs and struggling against the pull of a nap coming on, I found myself meditating on the notion of connection and disconnection. My body is deeply out of balance. Autoimmune attacks cause excruciating pain, disease within my central nervous system creates unfathomable weakness, and the treatments are actually causing harm with large doses of prednisone, anaphylactic reactions and more. Admitting that I am out of balance allows me to lovingly notice that I am in need of reconnection with the source of divine love.
Richard Rohr spoke about the outpouring of kenotic love from the Trinitarian SOURCE this morning when he stated, “The Trinity is all about relationship and connection. We know the Trinity through experiencing the flow itself, which dissolves our sense of disconnection. The principle of one is lonely; the principle of two is oppositional and moves us toward preference and exclusion; the principle of three is inherently moving, dynamic, and generative.” He went on to express what I know to be true of God. He stated, “God is not a being among other beings, but rather the Ground of Being itself which then flows through all beings…St. Bonaventure (c. 1221–1274) called God a ‘fountain fullness’ of love!”
As I read this, I become aware that my sense of disconnection is just an illusion. I do not need to reconnect — God never left me! God never stopped pouring out kenotic love! If disconnection/reconnection is an illusion, then I simply need to allow myself to rest in the divine waters of God’s love. Whether energetically splashing or gently floating, I am a part of the Body of Christ. I am not separate from God due to my health issues. No! This requires a change in mindset.
I am already healed in the depths of my spirit as I commune with the very ground of Being. From this foundation of deep spiritual balance, I can slowly rebuild my body in service of God’s will for my life.
Today I will treat myself gently. I will let go of the anxious need to fix everything immediately, and surrender to the “little way” of St. Francis. I will have the courage to trust that healing is possible, one tiny step at a time. I will choose to believe in my body, acknowldging that my body is nothing less than a part of the body of Christ, and therefore I shall empower my body to do whatever is needed to restore balance.
Making a conscious decision to believe in my body is both bold and healing. The body is good, as we are told through the bible and ancient writings. Yes, my body is GOOD! Today, I can make the choice to leave behind the feelings of betrayal that come from my body, and instead I choose to see my body for what she is — a beautiful shining light in the world.
