Why everybody is so afraid to reveal my diagnosis?

The DMS-5 is here for something, right?

Quick introduction: I’m Ignacia, I’m almost 32 and I’ve been depressed since I was a 9 year old. I’m treating this with the help of professionals since I was 14.
So, I have been in dozens of different psychiatries, different approaches, pharmaceutical cocktails, treatments.
So many that now that I’m trying to count how much doctors I tried and I can’t remember them all. They were a lot. And almost everyone of them did the same thing: denying a diagnosis.

“You don’t need to know ’cause it can condition your behavior”

“There’s no point in give you a diagnosis, all depression follow almost the same treatment”

“If I tell you, you’ll obsess about it”

“Diagnosis are an old thing”

“Here we don’t say ‘depression’, we say that your emotions ‘dirail’ in a way you cannot handle at the moment”

“You’ll use the diagnosis as part of your identity and it’s not necessary”

“You’ve been so many years in treatment that we can’t know what’s from the pills and what’s your own head”

The last one is what makes more sense for me. And that’s because is from no doctor, but from my experience with depression all this years.

And all this years were a time for me to learn everything there’s out there about depression, I’m a person with high awareness about how I feel, and I carry a notebook with all my symptoms, writing everything that comes.

And if you ask me, my diagnosis is Dysthymia. Many times some doctors have dare to tell me that I’m a bipolar person, but where’s my manic phase? how never I have the energy for nothing? When I’m not in the button of the well I don’t feel good. I feel like a sad ghost hanging in my mother’s house.

The thing is, no doctor neves have ask me how I feel about the diagnosis -or their lack of- or if I think something.

I believe that’s a huge mistake. If you see that your patient has done their research you shouldn’t dismiss that even if your patient is kind of crazy, but especially when you find someone with a real interest in what’s happening.

The DMS is a huge book that know goes in his five version, I suppose, because the last there is in the DMS-5. This book is kind of a bible of diagnosis. It gives THE NAME OF THE DAMN THING and you all the signs you should consider to give the diagnosis to the patient.
Is in the shelves of all the psychiatrists I’ve seen. Why they are not using in?

I die to know what happens with me. I think it would make a lot of things easier. My pills, my treatment, where to look for doctors and pick with knowledge, what to explain when I need to go to Emergency in the middle of a panic attack. You know, things like that.

For the next chapter: The illness itself that is to try to get healthcare. You know, things that happen.