Desi Drama Decoded
Observations of a gulf desi in the heart of family mayhem
Indians are dramatic. We’ve been like that for generations now.
From creating villains to justify our victimhood to family politics, we excel at turning the mundane into melodrama.
Recently, this “gulf-country-raised” who’s never really had to deal with family politics or watch a storm brewing in a teacup ventured into the heart of the desi vortex— a two-day visit to a beloved relative’s home.
Let’s say, there’s really a lot of interesting things to note about human psychology now that I live here.
This isn’t an exposé, it’s an introductory guide to the different characters of this stage-level Bollywood— delivered with a generous dose of humor, of course.
Here are some of my observations so far:
Observation #1: Villains Assemble!: In Indian households, villains are as essential as spices in curry. Whether it’s the in-laws, parents, or politicians, as long as there’s someone to point fingers at, all is well in the world.
Observation #2: The Responsibility Dodge: Taking ownership of one’s actions? That’s as rare as finding a quiet moment in a bustling bazaar. Here, it’s easier to pass the buck than admit fault.
Observation #3: The Art of Subtlety (Not): Lack of communication and self-awareness fuel the fires of family feuds. Forget cryptic crosswords, deciphering family dynamics is the real mental workout. Hints are delivered through pursed lips, side-eye glances, and passive-aggressive comments disguised as “loving concern.”
Remember, direct communication is for Westerners, we Indians operate on a higher, spicier plane.
Observation #4: The Great Money Divide: Ah, the age-old question: Is the doctor sibling truly the favorite, or is it just the whispers of envious aunts? Let’s face it, finances are a touchy subject, and comparing bank accounts over samosas is a national pastime (don’t worry, we judge ourselves too). In the currency of family favoritism, the richer sibling always wins the jackpot.
Observation #5: The Tattletale Trooper: Every family has that one relative, the nosiest pigeon in the gossip coop. They flit from ear to ear, spreading news faster than a rumor about Shah Rukh Khan’s next film.
They should get an honorary badge from Jerry of “Totally Spies” for their spy-worthy antics. Just remember, karma serves its chai cold, and one day, the tables might turn (with juicier gossip, of course).
Observation #6: The Grand Façade of Love: And let’s not forget the grandparent who’s all sugar and spice in front of guests but transforms into a fire-breathing dragon the moment you step out the door.
Don’t be fooled by the saccharine “shabash!” and bear hugs in front of the family. But hey, it’s all in good fun (rarely), and reconciliation is always just a plate of gulab jamun away.
At least, It’s heartening to see the younger generations — Gen Y, Z, and Alpha — recognizing the toxicity and striving for change.
Here’s hoping we can tidy up our mental mess before we digitalize India.
So, dear reader, the next time you find yourself in the midst of an Indian household, remember to bring popcorn and a healthy dose of humor. After all, life’s too short not to enjoy the show!
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