5 Ways To Get Out of Scamming Yourself About Your Career

Don’t Lie To Yourself About The Direction Things Are Going In Instead Of Pro-actively Driving The Narrative.

5 min readAug 13, 2023

It is common for professionals to reach a point in their life where they are cruising along, unconsciously or otherwise, often masked by complacency or fear of change, somewhat on the borderline of quiet quitting.

While self-deception might offer short-term comfort through an “ignorance is bliss” philosophy, in the long run, it will hinder growth.

I want to discuss the importance of being genuine with oneself about career trajectories and the essence of driving the narrative of your personal development plan proactively.

**Contemplating on the future** — Generated by Midjourney

1. Introspecting on the Self-Scam

We can very effectively convince ourselves of narratives that provide comfort towards the status quo. Perhaps you’ve told yourself you’re content in your role, even if there’s a background feeling of stagnancy, or perhaps you’re holding onto a job out of fear, assuring yourself it’s for the “best”.

This is most of the time a form of self-deception, and it’s surprisingly easy to fall into this trap. While fear might be valid and justified through the need of maintaining job stability (for example for VISA purposes or for quality of life). While these and others are solid reasons for not pursuing other risky opportunities, it is worth considering if there are small things you are blocking yourself from pursuing due to fear.

When you find yourself in a situation like this, you can fall into the trap of using all your energy on simply getting by, without leaving anything aside to improve your skills and future opportunities.

2. Why We Lie to Ourselves

We are truly creatures of habit, with fear of change engrained into most of us. Change brings about uncertainty, and that can be very scary.

Society, family, or peers can have pretty set unmovable standards, and straying can feel like rebellion or flagging you as a failure within your own community, bringing about external pressure to not make a change.

A deep-seated feeling that one doesn’t deserve better or can’t achieve more or is not qualified.

But this can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, where one does not gain more skills because of the belief one has that they are not qualified to put themselves in the position of gaining more skills. This loop must be broken in order to advance!

Familiarity within the comfort zone, even if deeply unsatisfactory, can seem preferable to the unknown.

3. The Cost of Not Being Proactive

Staying passive, not acknowledging genuine feelings or not acting upon passions and aspirations, can lead to negative outcomes and feelings:

Without growth, there can be both personal and professional growth stagnation.
The world moves quickly, and waiting for opportunities to knock at your door is less effective than seeking them out. It’s likely they are there, floating around, but they’re passing by at a fast pace.
Over time, the “what-ifs” will pile up, leading to unavoidable feelings of regret.

Those who find a passion and purpose at work are much more likely to be able to cope with the mundane parts of their jobs. This does not mean the main role must directly scratch the itch of doing something you like. Find that opportunity for a side project lurking in the shadows.

4. Empathy Towards Yourself

Being empathetic towards oneself and not only towards others is crucial. Acknowledge and validate your feelings, fears, and wishes.

Understand that it’s perfectly okay to want more, even the unachievable, and equally okay to feel scared about the journey of chasing your dreams.

By treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding as you would friends and strangers, you’re better equipped to take proactive steps without undue self-judgment and self-sacrifice.

5. Driving Your Personal Development Narrative

Take the time to self-reflect and introspect, and have a manager-like 1:1 conversation with yourself rather than waiting for an external entity to do it with you. What do you love about your job? What do you desire in your career?

Try to put down a couple of goals. Where do you want to be in the next 5 years? What skills do you wish to acquire?

A mentor can provide guidance. Seek them out, even if you are scared of socialising. Most companies have a program for being able to engage with mentors on a number of subjects: upskilling, career progression, internal transfers, the works. They can challenge your thoughts, validate your concerns, help you identify opportunities and be a great sounding board with a different background and experience.

The world is evolving, and so should your skills. Seek courses, workshops, or books related to your field. Apply yourself through small projects the output of which you can use to add to your public portfolio. Don’t do yourself a disservice by thinking a small project is irrelevant.

Building connections can open doors and provide insight into unexplored career paths. Networking might seem like an overused buzzword, but how will you know until you have given it a serious try yourself?

It is highly unlikely a good network both within and outside the workplace won’t help you have more opportunities. People switch companies, start companies, advance in their roles and recruit people. The stronger your network and the more they understand the value you could bring to them, the more you will have opportunities. It is best to reject a few all the time, than have none coming your way.

Grain of Salt

The other side of the coin is over-doing it to the extent that you lose yourself in the job as highlighted by the New York Times. In most cases you will not be paid more to do more. Hence if you do it, you must be satisfied with it being for your own betterment or otherwise pursue something outside of the professional setting yourself! For example, a few low-risk low-cost attempts at starting a small business never hurt anyone!

Conclusion

Your career journey is uniquely yours, and you understand the challenges you are facing the best.

While external factors play a role, the driving force should always be you. Self-deception might seem like a protective shield, but in the long run, it’s a barrier. Be empathetic to yourself and proactively seek what you desire.

Don’t scam yourself out of your own potential.

Dear Reader,

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