A Phase We All Go Through (Or Not?)
This article wouldn’t have been completed without the contributions of my amazing friends, my co-authors. Their contributions provide diverse and unique experiences that you will definitely relate to as individuals 💜
The one where we get a bit emotional
This is for everyone waiting for their first big break, for everyone who keeps working hard but feels like their hard work is going unnoticed or isn’t enough, and for everyone who thinks their peers have left them behind. This isn’t a competition or a race, if for anything this is your race, and know that you get to run it at your own pace.
Now, this isn’t an ‘aspire to perspire’ piece, you know sometimes you want to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and reevaluate your life. The good thing about this is, that I know I am not alone, and if you’re feeling the same way, know that you’re not alone too.
Let me let you guys in on a little secret, at the time I started writing this article about a year ago, I was going to share how I navigate those days but after rereading it a week ago, I had a light bulb moment and decided to change the concept (iterate till awesome right?). I reached out to my very good friends from different walks of life who obliged my request to ‘please share some tips that have helped you on your sad days’
Some of what you’ll read here will sound a lot like what you already do, some will seem new, and some may even seem odd but feel free to apply your uniqueness to the process. Remember again that this is your race.
The one where my friends shared
On my imposter syndrome days, I find myself going back to the beginning of my journey. I go through my journals, and it helps me understand that imposter syndrome has nothing on me. And I could clearly see the growth.
On some days, I have a glass jar where I put all my wins. The littlest to the biggest. I take the jar and start reading all the notes inside the jars. It lifts me up and reminds and reassured me that I have achieved a lot and imposter syndrome has nothing on me. — A dear friend who has chosen to be Anon ❤️
For me, I eat and sleep. I take walks too and listen to Sunmisola Agbebi or Sola Allyson. And I face whatever it is because my life depends on it. Idk if this makes sense sha, but for the stage of my life that I’m at o, this is how I deal with it. Food, sleep, and music >>>> — A friend who claims to have seen Shege face to face 🧡
Anyways. For me, how I go through a bad patch is to smoke greens, listen to music, video games. Hanging out with my boys help remind me that it gets better too. Things barely faze me cus — “ if you stay prepared, you don’t gotta get prepared “ Right? — A friend called Manny 🖤
I watch movies and listen to music when everything becomes hard and I am losing my shit. — A friend who doesn’t seem to like stress 💚
Bad Days? Who doesn’t have bad days? As a human being then as a Product Manager when you also have to deal with people who could be dealing with their own bad days too. Oops, Florence said I shouldn’t make this about Product Management, forgive me but do you get the point?
Might not have totally hacked it but these are a couple of things I do when my head is clouded. I talk to God. Not pray, I just talk. I rant to friends if need be.
I listen to music. Trust me, a Playlist created when you’re having those nasty feelings hit differently and how can I forget my biggest comfort after God? Kdramas!! My lifesaver. It’s just a world I created to dive in when I can’t have it anymore. I don’t intend to increase the word count of Florence’s article but believe me, I felt a tad better writing this. — A friend named Dichee 🤎
For me, it’s music, taking a walk, and sleep, that’s how I cope. — A friend that takes it one day at a time 💜
I look for distractions. Could be movies, could be sleep, or taking a stroll. Sometimes it’s working out or maybe chilling with the guys. — A friend you can always count on 💛
On those days, I look back at the great things I have done and just channel that energy into the cause of the bad day.- A friend who’s also like a brother 🤍
Lmao, I eat like a thief!! — A friend whose house is always open to me 💚
The one where I shared
I had quite several bad days in 2023 and I was able to navigate them by praying, listening to music, and watching comedy series, I am especially grateful for the casts of Friends, Brooklyn 99, The Big Bang Theory, and a couple of other amazing series.
I also write down how I felt at that very moment and go back to a list of wins in my journal to remind myself of how badass I am. When I feel a bit better and go back to read those words, it makes me smile/laugh. I think other things that help have been working out (I was consistent this year, thank you JIM!), not seeking external validation, and not depriving myself of ‘feeling’ those ‘feelings’. Yes, I am human and yes, I am allowed to feel.
The second best thing? Finding solutions, how can I do this better? How can I become better? I found this amazing piece from smoul — How to be in the top 1% in 2024, this article details insights you can adopt in navigating your path in life and standing out as an individual. I wouldn’t do anything different from what has been listed in that article.
- Showing up and showing out
- Making meaningful connection
- Embracing failure
- Learning, unlearning, and relearning.
The amazing thing about this? You get to apply your uniqueness to this process.
The one where we round up the year
We all have bad days, but one thing is true; no cloud is so dark that the sun can’t shine through.” — Miranda Kerr
The year ends in a few days, you’ve survived 2023!!! I hope we get to be in a better place next year and even on those bad days, we do not forget how much hard work we have put into our journey and how far we have come. Be your navigator but never lose sight of the fun of life.
I wish everyone a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in advance.
