Designers Want to Win. But Don’t Know the Rules of the Game
You’re not losing the game. You never learned how to play it.
TL;DR:
- You’re not losing the game — you never learned how it’s played.
- Influence isn’t handed out. It’s earned through insight and impact.
- Strategy means sacrifice. If you can’t flex, you can’t lead.
- Nobody owes your design reverence. Only results earn respect.
- The table isn’t a reward. It’s a test. Show up ready — or get replaced.
We spent years begging for a seat.
A voice. A title. A chance. And some of us, some of you, finally got in.
But now? We’re shocked we’re not winning.
Here’s the truth no one wants to say out loud: You’re not losing because the game is rigged. You’re losing because you never learned how the game works.
1. Influence Is Earned, Not Granted
You got invited to the meeting. That’s not a win — it’s a window.
You got cc’d on the strategy doc? Congrats — you’re background noise until proven otherwise.
Your title doesn’t give you influence.
Your Figma file doesn’t earn trust.
You’re in the room. Now what?
You don’t get taken seriously because you call yourself “strategic.” You get taken seriously when you speak in outcomes, not opinions.
You want people to hang on your every word — why?
Because you took a bootcamp? Because a professor told you you had “empathy”? Because you “speak for the user”?
So what.
That multi-billion-dollar company was doing just fine before you walked in the door. And it’ll keep going long after you leave.
You are not entitled to the room.
It’s not your birthright.
It’s not your soapbox.
It’s a privilege — and an honor — to be invited into that space.
It means someone saw potential in you.
Don’t screw it up.
If you want to be heard, earn it.
If you want to be trusted, prove it.
If you want influence, bring more than a mockup and a monologue.
Or don’t — and watch the door close behind you.
2. Design Maturity Isn’t Just an Org Problem — It’s a Designer Problem
We love dragging orgs for being “UX immature.” But maybe it’s time we turned the mirror around.
Most designers couldn’t explain how their company actually makes money. They’ve never read a financial report. They don’t know what the CEO is trying to protect — or what they’re betting the business on.
They avoid metrics like they’re toxic. They tune out in roadmap reviews. They say “that’s not my job” when business context shows up.
And yet, they demand to be seen as strategic?
You want a seat at the table, but you’re still playing checkers while everyone else is playing chess — and you’re upset they didn’t hand you the queen.
Maturity is not just empathy. It’s not sticky notes and soft skills. It’s understanding what the business actually needs — and aligning your work to deliver it.
You think you’re being overlooked?
You’re not being excluded.
You’re being filtered.
And filtered out.
Strategic partners don’t just “advocate for the user.” They know what levers move the business. They can connect the dots between experience and outcomes — between friction and revenue.
Until you bring that?
You’re not a threat.
You’re a liability with a color palette.
3. Strategy Requires Sacrifice
This isn’t art class. It’s not about your mood board, your process, or your “creative expression.”
Design isn’t about you. It’s not about preserving your perfect figjam flow or shipping your untouched, unicorn vision.
It’s about outcomes. Priorities. Constraints. Trade-offs. It’s about playing the long game — not getting your way.
Real strategy isn’t addition.
It’s subtraction with purpose.
It’s knowing what not to build.
What not to say.
What not to fight for.
If you can’t let go of your precious idea — if every bit of feedback feels like betrayal — then you’re not being strategic. You’re just being stubborn. You say you want to be seen as a leader? Then start acting like one.
Leaders sacrifice.
They flex.
They let go of ego to make room for impact.
Because if your design only works when no one touches it — then it doesn’t work.
4. Your Work Isn’t Sacred — The Mission Is
I’ve been doing this a long time. Twenty years in design. I’ve put my heart into work that got shredded in a meeting. I’ve stayed up late, chasing the perfect flow, only to watch it die on a whiteboard the next day. I’ve felt that sting. I get it.
But friend to friend — you’ve got to let it go.
Because your wireframe? It’s not sacred. Your process? Not sacred. Your color system, your type choice, that lovingly crafted component library? Not sacred.
What is sacred?
Solving the right problem.
Creating actual value.
Delivering results that move people — and the business — forward.
That’s the job.
Designers sometimes wrap their identity so tightly around the work that any challenge feels like an attack. But it’s not. It’s feedback. It’s iteration. It’s part of the process — the real process.
And yeah, it hurts sometimes. It’s frustrating. But if your design only survives in perfect conditions, untouched and untested, then it was never built to survive at all.
You’re not being sabotaged. You’re being shaped. That’s how strong work is forged — in fire, not in a vacuum.
Let your ego breathe. Let the feedback in. Because your design isn’t sacred. But the mission? The outcome? The people you’re building for? That absolutely is.
5. This Is the Moment — Don’t Waste It
The honeymoon is over. No more free passes. No more design hype. No more excuses.
AI is here. Budgets are shrinking. Layoffs are real. And leadership is asking the question nobody wants to hear out loud: “Do we actually need design?”
If that makes you uncomfortable, good. Because this is the part where you either rise up — or get phased out.
This isn’t the time to pout. It’s not the time to tweet sad memes or write eulogies for UX.
It’s time to prove your value.
You say you want to be seen as strategic? Then act like it.
Learn how decisions get made.
Understand the business.
Speak the language of outcomes.
Solve the actual problems — not just the ones that fit neatly into your case study template.
Stop delivering slides. Start delivering clarity.
This is your shot. To show that design isn’t just relevant — it’s essential. To show you’re not just there to make things pretty — you’re there to make things work.
Or don’t — and get replaced by someone who can.
Part of a series: Not Dead. Not Done. Real Talk in Design.
Design isn’t dead — but it’s not what it used to be. This series is a raw look at what it really means to survive, fail, adapt, and keep building in today’s world of design. No buzzwords. No fairy tales. Just real talk for the ones still fighting.
Articles in the series:
