I Fought 5 Challenges in My Career Before the Truth Came Out
Now that I know I have Asperger’s, I understand my discomfort in my career. Here are the challenges I’ve had to face.
#1 of 5 of the series Becoming a freelancer:
The idea | The fear | Getting ready | Launch | First steps |
How do you know if you’ve made the right choice in your career?
How do other people do it?
I don’t know if it’s the right decision, but when you change projects, jobs and companies dozens of times… When you’re so fickle, there’s something wrong somewhere.
My LinkedIn profile shows 19 professional experiences since 2002, that’s one professional experience per year (in a 22-year career).
I have no doubt that it took me a long time to find my place.
I’ve changed the way I interpret this professional sabotage.
Instead of blaming the job and the employer, I asked myself if the problem wasn’t really with me.
And the answer is absolutely YES.
So I changed to get out of the fog that was obscuring my vision. Finally, in 2024, I’m calming down professionally by becoming a freelancer.
Are the two intimately linked?
I don’t think so, but for me, independence means autonomy, successes and failures.
I was recently pre-diagnosed with Asperger’s Autism, which was a revelation for me and helped me understand my choices.
I’ve joined a discussion group for Asperger’s women, where we talk about our professional careers.
I’m writing this article for all Asperger women :
- who are experiencing autistic burn-out,
- those who are questioning their ability to become independent,
- and those who wonder what my career path has been.
Of course, I also write for all those who are curious and undecided, all those who suffer from never finding their place behind a desk.
In this article, I share 5 challenges that have left their mark on my professional career. Each challenge is like a stone in my fortress, standing like a barrier to protect me and make me stronger.
Challenge 1: At the age of 19, I was expelled from school and had to do a job I didn’t like.
I have a paramedical background, and at 19 I entered a nursing school. I’m good at school, but above all I’m very lazy.
At the end of my 2nd year of nursing school, I failed my mid-term exams. I even failed the oral exam to apply for a repeat.
So I left nursing school, a total shit. First failure.
I was truly disillusioned. I was heartbroken and felt completely ashamed and responsible for my exclusion.
I’m ashamed, I don’t take responsibility for my failure and it’s a real storm that descends on me.
The first year of nursing school validates the nursing assistant diploma.
I can work and I’m going to work.
That’s how I started working at the age of 20.
How do I manage?
I work as a care assistant, but I don’t have a vocation and I lack empathy with the people I look after.
This makes me distant, and my colleagues and superiors mistake my attitude for casualness.
For me, the sick aren’t sick enough to complain so much.
I’m touched by the acts of mistreatment I observe. I see a system that doesn’t work.
Like Erin Brockovich fighting for justice, I decided to denounce the establishment where I work. An investigation was carried out immediately, but nothing happened.
I decided to change jobs. I’m disgusted by the fate reserved for the weakest, by the mentality of certain care providers. I’m also saddened by the despair of professionals who give their all to the point of exhaustion.
At the age of 22, I no longer had much hope for the future of humanity.
I started training as a medical representative in the pharmaceutical industry.
As a medical representative, I promote drugs to doctors.
I choose an oligotherapy laboratory (a drug based on trace elements) and visit doctors practicing alternative medicine.
Most of the time, I’m alone in my car, I see 5 doctors a day and I have time to read in the waiting room.
Today I see this as a lull after years of emotional turmoil.
It lasted ten years and was the most stable period in my career.
Challenge 2: I’m the mother of a 2-year-old, I work during the day and I’m studying for a Master’s degree at night.
I’ve been a medical delegate for almost 10 years, and I’m exhausted from criss-crossing the countryside to meet doctors.
Above all, I’m tired of doing the same thing all day long.
It just doesn’t make sense to me anymore.
For the second time, I decided to go back to school.
I took the competitive entrance exam for business school and won my place in the 2013–2015 intake.
At the time, I was the single mother of a 2-year-old boy, I lived 2 hours away from the school and I was still employed.
The people around me tell me that I’m crazy to be doing this, that I won’t be able to do it.
I don’t yet know that my mind is fireproof.
How do I manage?
The training takes place as follows: 4 days at the school, every other week.
The rest of the time I’m still in my oligotherapy laboratory, travelling the roads.
I had to manage everything at once, and quite often on my own. I was a solo mom, so after my day’s work I looked after my son, and once the little one was asleep I worked on my courses.
It’s a grueling rhythm, but I kept at it. I obtained my Master II at the age of 27.
A proud moment in my career.
Many of my classmates dropped out or separated from their spouses.
Becoming a student again at the age of 40, while at the same time being a professional with a family life, is a really complicated thing to take on.
Challenge 3: I’m looking to become a project manager, but I have no knowledge of the profession.
A Master’s degree and 10 years in business open the door to… sales.
I sell computer software to retirement homes, and travel the roads.
Back to the start?
I don’t like this job. I’m sick and tired of being on the road and in hotels. All I do is present software and sell.
My company puts pressure on me to sell more, so I sell more.
Three years of selling computer software later, I have the unpleasant feeling that I’m treading water.
How do I manage?
To make my day-to-day life more exciting, I take an interest in support professions such as marketing, project management and customer service. But I’m also interested in technology, development processes, testing, product and design.
I can’t stand still, I’m constantly questioning and observing what my colleagues are doing.
Finally, I asked to leave my job.
I moved to a position as partner manager and 6 months later, my company laid me off.
I changed companies and became assistant project manager, then project manager and finally product owner.
It took me over two years to become a project manager and leave sales for good.
Challenge 4: I dare to leave the manager’s job that everyone covets and become independent.
I’m a Product Owner, I enjoy the job, I’m constantly learning, I share in events, I’m proactive.
I’ve changed companies 3 times in 3 years, but I like the job.
The company I work for is looking for its future Manager of a mobile development department.
The position is coveted, very coveted.
It’s a bit of a hot job. I tell people about it, and they’d like to apply, but they don’t dare.
I’m the only external service provider to apply, and I get the job.
But nothing turns out the way I planned.
If you want to know how I prepare my interviews, read this article:
How do I manage?
I’m having a hard time. My hands and feet are tied, there are so many things to implement and I have so little decision-making power… I’m totally frustrated.
My team is too, and they’re letting me know it.
The sky is rumbling, I feel caught in a storm that is taking all attempts at control out of my hands.
I’m drowning.
I want to do the right thing, I put in countless hours, evenings and weekends. I work tirelessly to solve the many problems I encounter, but I just can’t do it.
The decisions I make are overridden, I don’t feel supported despite the help I ask for.
Worse than that, I have the real impression that I’m a woman in a man’s world, a victim of mockery and judgment. I feel like Tess McGill in Working Girl.
“You can be tattooed and competent too.” Reflection made by an N+2
I feel out of place.
I need to be in action, not stuck in tunnels of meetings where no decisions will be made.
I’m waiting 9 months before negotiating my departure.
Ironically, a male manager is leaving at the same time.
It will be said that he invested himself well.
As far as I’m concerned, they’ll say that I’ve had a windfall.
Challenge 5: I launch my company, and it’s a total failure
In 2020, I explored a parallel activity to my job. That of an instructor.
I’ve gone from teaching a few hours a week to working almost half-time in digital schools.
I give lectures and training courses to Bachelor’s and Master’s students.
I’m doing well and enjoying it.
I’d like to expand this activity and launch my own mobile marketing agency.
New training course. The third since the start of my career.
I’m training in digital marketing and obtaining certification in digital marketing and copyrighting.
How do I manage?
Being a trainer requires a very long preparation phase. It takes over a hundred hours for each training module, not counting the time spent on lectures, corrections and student follow-up.
Some students are very good listeners, while others are not interested at all and make a mess of things. The exercise is tiring, irritating even, and you have to balance pedagogy, patience and authority.
Despite all this, the feedback is pretty good:
This feedback has encouraged me to launch my own business.
My training activity was successful, but my business didn’t take off at all.
Despite having defined my target, my value proposition and having communicated on social networks. I haven’t had a single contact.
My business is dying…
People don’t contact me via my company, but directly via LinkedIn.
I think it’s very important to understand that hiding behind a company name doesn’t serve as a springboard.
Customers contact us for our skills, our experience, for the person we are. Trying to communicate via an agency hasn’t helped me reach more customers.
On the contrary, working on communications has cost me a lot of time.
When you understand that, you understand the importance of presenting your profile correctly and working your professional network.
Final Thoughts
Today I’m a freelance Product Owner Design System and also a copywriter on the topics of technology, freelance, personal development and mental health.
My training activity is dormant, waiting for the right moment and the right opportunity to wake up.
I’m currently thinking about closing my self-employed business, which has cost me more than it’s brought in.
It hasn’t been easy, but after 19 trying changes of activities, companies and professions, I’ve found a balance that suits me.
My pre-diagnosis with Austist Asperger explains the discomfort I felt during my 22-year career. So many of us live with this, we know we’re unhappy but we don’t know how to name it.
This article highlighted 5 challenges that changed my vision.
I could have failed and got myself into so much trouble, I could never have got out of it.
- Fortunately, I was (and still am) surrounded by caring people who took me in, looked after my child and supported me.
- Fortunately, I live in a country that offers economic facilities and social care.
- Fortunately, I’ve never had any serious health problems that could have ruined everything.
I don’t know what my path has been, but it’s a mixture of nerve, opportunities, encounters and luck.
I think it’s a bit of all that.
What I do know is that in order to succeed, I’ve never counted the hours, I’ve given 200%, and quite often I’ve had the impression of lifting mountains.
I hope you’ve enjoyed sharing. I’d love to hear your feedback on the content, your suggestions or comments.
I’ll take the time to get back to you, so don’t hesitate.
The door is wide open 🖤
