To mentor or to be mentored
I was part of a UX mentorship program for women and non-binary people this year.
Hexagon UX and women in tech
The mentorship program I chose is called Hexagon UX. They have chapters in several cities around the world, and their goal is to help women and non-binary people working in UX thrive. I discovered them when I attended one of their meetups years ago.
During their remote and in-person events this year, I was struck by the number of women switching careers and seeking a mentor. I thought about my younger self and how things could have been easier with a community around me when I retrained.
Naively, I didn’t expect to get hit in my face with women-specific workplace struggles, because the challenges I am currently facing are not due to sexism or patriarchy. Yet I met many women anxious because of their condition at work. IVF, pregnancy, breastfeeding, motherhood, ageism, sexual harassment, casual sexism, unequal pay… They had so many stories to share, all of them revolting and similar in so many ways. I am no exception, I also had stories from past experiences to share with them. The sorority felt real, and it was a powerful experience.
What this community is achieving is crucial, it is great to have a safe space to discuss those topics without the threat of a backlash. In the era of exponential LinkedIn networks, and LinkedIn influence, it was a deeper and more meaningful way to network.
How I was matched with my mentor
Hexagon UX is run by volunteers. I sent a copy letter to pitch why I needed a mentor and then got a screening call with one of the volunteers. They received more than 100 applications for about 30 seats this year. I was part of the happy few and was matched with a group of mentees with a similar profile, and potential mentors.
A remote speed matching night then took place on Zoom with a facilitator. We used breakout rooms to meet mentors in 15-minute calls. The goal was to pitch the challenges we were facing and assess which mentor would be best to hold our hand. It was intense but those short conversations were already helpful. I found it moving to see those people giving their time to help the community.
The mentors all had different styles. Some were already discussing practical details and taking notes, some came with a deck to introduce themselves, and some were already trying to find solutions to our problems. They all took it very seriously. The human fit is crucial in this relationship, so I made sure to spare a few minutes to ask them about their drivers at the end of the call. This helped me assess which ones could be a good match for me.
The next day, I got a survey to rate each mentor. Mentors also rated mentees, and the Hexagon UX team arbitrated. They matched me with someone I look up to, Léa Mendes Da Silva. She is a very respected designer here, one of the most driven you would see on a stage. But she is also a good person, smart, humble, candid, and kind. I feel grateful to have had the opportunity to have her by my side.
How to make the best of a mentorship program
The Hexagon UX team shared great advice for us to make the best out of this program. The mentorship lasted about 4 months, so to make sure it wouldn’t end up in a series of casual chats, the volunteers shared a few tips.
The number one rule is to understand that your mentor isn’t a shrink or a manager. If you experience a personal issue, you need to solve it first. You also need to be clear that your mentor is here to help you, but they are not above your manager. They can cast a different light on what you are experiencing based on what they have experienced themselves and thanks to the distance they may have. They will create a safe space for you to share your insecurities without any performance pressure.
Another important rule is to understand you are in charge of progress. You need to have a goal in mind and set milestones yourself so it’s easier for your mentor to help you. If you need to prepare something for the next call, be accountable and make sure you save time for this ahead of your chat.
On a more practical level, you have to make sure you save a recurring timeslot in both calendars so you don’t keep postponing your meetings. You also need to pick a channel to communicate with your mentor between sessions — Léa and I used WhatsApp. I kept a notepad to list what I wanted to add to the agenda for the next session. I wanted to be respectful of my mentor’s time and send as little messages as possible between sessions.
Takeaway
The mentorship program helped me achieve multiple wins toward my bigger goals. It helped me so much to have a friend by my side to challenge me and tell me when I could do better. I feel like Léa shared a bit of her maturity with me. She allowed me to see the other side of the mirror by explaining how managers think.
We also had more informal chats that helped me just as much as the coaching itself. For instance, she told me about the recruitment process (she interviewed around 200 designers), and the behavioral differences between men, women, and people from minorities. Hearing this from someone who witnessed it at scale is different from reading it in a generic article online. Another important conversation we had was about corporate politics. She cast a different light on them. To me, they had a negative connotation — they were just a sneaky game! I learned that it could be something positive and that it could mostly be about finding sponsors.
Giving some of my time feels like a normal thing to do now, so I have started to mentor people from a design bootcamp. It is a short mentorship format. So far I have had 2 mentees, both of them women taking a bet on their careers. Again, they had mother-specific insecurities, and this pattern is making me nervous. The more I think about it, the more I believe I should volunteer for another Hexagon UX promotion as a mentor this time, so I can help more significantly.
Maybe one mentorship at a time, we can move the needle.
A few mentorship programs for designers
If you are a designer and this story has inspired you to find a mentor or a mentee, here are a few options:
