Why do we need mentors?
We all need mentors even if we think we don’t. We need them not because we need someone to show us direction, but for someone to share their story with us which in turn helps us to connect to that story in our own lives.
We come across mentors from very early on in our lives (exceptions might be there!). I was very lucky to have my parents mentor me in studies, all sorts of art activities, cooking, and handling life since I started living away at the age of 15. I found my first(non-parent) mentor in my cousin who had been through the same route of preparing for the IIT-JEE (engineering exam in India) and had cracked it. His confidence and his intelligence while he solved math problems with me inspired me so much that I wanted to make it to the place he was. He motivated me every day when I was choosing my college and till today, I try to seek his validation while he is busy being an executive, a husband, and a great father.
I found a lack of mentors during my college at BITS or should I say there was no concept of a mentor that existed for me. I had seen a set path of things and was busy following that. I wish I had tried to find people to help me figure out how to study a specific course, apply for research interns, or around strategies to study for a good GPA (I know!). All of that might have been present in and around me but there was no specific channel to tap well into those opportunities.
Then came job life which was totally new both in terms of lifestyle and the earnings. I had mentors on-call available always, for instance, my dad’s friend who advised me on managing my finances, investments and save up for my Master’s. I had my dad, who instructed me every day to find a balance between hard work and happiness and my mom who was taking care of my health and other necessities via phone calls. Why do you think I believed in their suggestions? It was because they had their stories and experiences to back things up when they told me a particular strategy.
All I missed was a mentor at my workplace. I went through various swings in my last stint and all I missed was a person whom I can relate to and feel “That’s okay, it's normal, it shall pass!”. But we all have our own ways to tackle things and I found a commonality with my friend and then-roommate — Riya Midha. We happened to discuss all the weird conversations or moments that might have happened over the day and there were similar patterns that we identified with. We laughed at how people (irrespective of their gender) make fun of diversity hiring at lunch tables, how they laughed upon women only meetups, and how there were some pre-etched notions about women leadership but mind you, we laughed it out together at the end of the day. We found support in the parallelism that existed in all kinds of workplaces, be it a startup or big corporate. Again, this was my part of the experience.
I found myself a mentor for a short stint in one of the design managers at that time. She understood my aspirations and zeal perfectly which my then manager of three years could not. The candid chats with her about how I visualize things for my future helped me so much, and I am sure she doesn’t even know this right now, that the confidence boost that she provided me with by sharing her journey, experiences, frustrations, and aspirations worked wonders for me. It brought me sanity and validation at the same time.
I shared my story with you all today and I would really like to know your story. Have there been any times in your professional life that you needed a human being who understood your mental state and helped you achieve your then professional aspirations? Did you find that one mentor? If yes, let me know the version of that mentor and how they impacted you in a small or a huge way! If no, how do you think you could have found that person?
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