What Is Your Why?
I HAD a doctor’s appointment today — the first one I’ve had locally since I moved a year ago. I knew it was something I needed to do but kept putting it off telling myself the doctors here won’t be as good as the ones back home, that I wasn’t interested in starting all over in a new doc/patient relationship, that if I needed immediate care I’d just go to a walk-in clinic and could still drive back to my old stomping grounds for regular physicals.
This neglect of my health care was weighing on me more than I realized because, after the appointment, I felt empowered, valued, and happy. I showed myself that I’m important enough to be taken care of.
The first question I posed to the writers in my new Writers’ Group Intensive was “What is the one action you know you need to be taking but aren’t? Each was able to quickly identify his or her necessary step, and the conversation during our video conference let us dig in deeper, into the “why.” That’s when things really got good.
After the call, I found myself thinking about this question a lot and in regards to all areas of my life. It’s a powerful one, particularly when you investigate the reasons for the inaction.
In exploring the deeper “why” about not seeing a doctor sooner, I realized I avoided this appointment because I believed it would make this area feel like my permanent home and that’s not my plan.
Although we’ve been here longer than anticipated and will be here for a while still, I resisted giving in to establishing any kind of roots. What it ended up doing, however, was make me feel unsettled and unnurtured, which spilled over into other areas — my happiness, my business, my relationships. Ironically, now that I’ve established a relationship with a doctor here, I feel freer to move on when it’s time.
And that’s the power of the “why.” When you take some time to think about the possible reasons why you aren’t doing the things you say you want or need to do, it shines a light on the real obstacle.
Why aren’t you finishing that book?
Why aren’t you going on that date?
Why aren’t you visiting your family?
Why aren’t you delegating more?
Instead of berating yourself for not taking action, consider how your inaction is benefitting you. Is it validating some fear you have? Is it protecting you from possible failure or rejection? Is it helping you avoid drama?
It needn’t even be that deep. Like I know I need/want to update my website. I’ve wanted to for a long time. So why haven’t I? Because it feels like a HUGE job and is overwhelming. So if that’s my “why”, I can address it by breaking the project down into manageable tasks. I can choose an action that feels doable. And I have. And it feels awesome.
So this week, think about an action you’re not taking in your life or business and dig into your “why.” Make your next move one that addresses this “why” and you’ll be well on your way to the progress you’ve been hoping for.
