Overcoming the Confidence Gap in Times of Transition
Times of transition — like taking on a new role at work or home, changing teams or projects, or losing a colleague (or many) — have a tendency to rattle our confidence. This happens because we don’t know how to evaluate or conduct ourselves in this new, unknown situation.
To overcome this confidence gap, we don’t need to focus directly on confidence. While power posing, affirmative talks, and pump-up jams are great for a momentary boost, true confidence comes from our knowledge of who we are and our belief in what we can do. To build a strong foundation of confidence, focus on fostering your sense of curiosity.
Curiosity is the intrinsically-motivated process of exploring and learning. The more you experiment and explore, the more you learn about yourself and your capabilities; and the more you know about yourself and your capabilities, the more you’re willing to experiment and explore.
It may be counterintuitive, but confidence and curiosity reinforce each other. And how cool is it that when you put your energy into taking a more curious perspective that you make gains in confidence?
As designers, curiosity is a part of our daily toolset, however it can be harder to apply to ourselves and our own situations. In order to approach transitions with more curiosity, here are three ways to coach yourself:
Adopt a beginner’s mindset
We are experiencing firsts all the time — we’re constantly taking on new roles, responsibilities, projects, and situations — and often not acknowledging or giving ourselves credit for being a beginner. Brené Brown calls this the FFT (F*cking First Time). By naming and owning our position as a beginner, we can reality check our expectations (“of course this is hard, I’m new at it!”). Also, once you realize you’re new at something, instead of approaching the situation as though you should (or do) already know how to handle it, pause and consider how your skills, strengths, and experience might be adapted to the new situation. Naming and owning your position as a beginner is an act of curiosity.
Experiment & iterate
The pursuit of perfectionism — while alluring, because who doesn’t like to get it right the first time? — counters the curious perspective. When you’re building or creating something, try approaching it as a Minimum Viable Product. Ask yourself “what’s the minimum I need to do to take the first step?” and think through “What might I learn by trying this or that?” This approach leans into a learning mindset (instead of a knowing one), which will ultimately allow you to build better things with less effort and more curiosity.
Gather information for understanding
We are so quick to add our own filter to information received and with good reason. This approach protects us from mental overload. However, to take a curious approach, we want to first gather information to understand and then filter. Separating these into two steps (instead of allowing them to happen simultaneously) makes us open to information we would otherwise not take in. This is especially true when receiving critical feedback. The next time feedback comes your way, listen to get a clear picture from their point of view before adding in your own judgments, feelings, etc. You don’t have to ultimately agree, but hold off on deciding until you fully understand.
As a leadership coach, I find that when my clients are struggling to access their curiosity, they’re often deep in the weeds of their own experience and likely there’s an inner critic loudly warning of the dangers ahead. If you, too, are finding it challenging to tap into your own curiosity, find someone to serve as a thought partner. I’ve found it helpful to have a coach who asks me thoughtful questions, is a sounding board, and provides an outside perspective. Their curiosity about me fosters my own curiosity.
Start flexing your curiosity muscle now so that you’re prepared to face any upcoming transitions with confidence. With that, how might you approach next week’s tasks with more curiosity?
