Make ugly things
it’s better than making nothing at all
An excellent track record can be a terrible thing. (Although I did disappoint my parents early and often in many areas) I was an excellent student through high school, and my teachers had great hopes and expectations from me. I aced exams, because I studied the syllabus, anticipated questions, and prepared myself to write exactly what was required to get a full grade.
But as you know, this approach doesn’t work in the creative field — there is no syllabus, no clearly defined questions, no ‘correct’ answers and definitely no one providing validation at the end of my efforts. This has been a huge problem, because I want to be perfect. I want my work to be perfect. And combine that with anxiety and a fragile self worth which is attached to my work, you have a perfect recipe for…
Creative Block
Creative block is the mental and creative equivalent of being constipated. There’s shit inside of you that needs to come out, but it can’t. Conceptually and physically, it’s not a good feeling. Especially if (as I mentioned earlier) you’re someone who attaches their self worth to the amount and quality of creative output produced.
When I was younger, I used to be inspired by good stationery. I would buy expensive paper and writing material and be really motivated to draw or write with it. But lately it feels like nothing I draw or write will be worth the niceness of the stationery (somewhere along the way I realised that using an art material is actually robbing it off its possibilities: once the paper has been drawn on, it no longer has infinite possibilities)… and this attitude turns the creative block into an infinite downward spiral.
I’ll admit: I’m a serial procrastinator, which stems from my (somehow existent) belief that there is a perfect way to do things, and if I do everything perfectly I will be able to avoid criticism and failure and rejection. Hello, perfectionist tendencies stemming from fear of rejection (and thank you, introspection)! As a result, I take forever to get started, and even longer to finish — especially things that matter to me most, the things I can’t afford to mess up on. And, guess what… end up doing precisely that!
But here’s a news flash! Diagnosing your problem doesn’t automatically solve it. *gasp!*
Desperate times & desperate measures
During one of my long running creative lulls that started shortly after I left the magical environment of design school, I decided I’ve had enough of my own shit (see what I did there?), and co-incidentally discovered David Cain’s Blog. And to be honest, the guy is amazing! He devices experiments for himself, with the intention of improving himself, and reports his experiences and results for the world to see.
Inspired, I set myself up on a 3 month challenge.
The Ugly Sketchbook Project
I love drawing, and I’m convinced that if I could get myself to draw more I could write more too.
The challenge: to make at least one ugly drawing in a day.
… sounds doable, right? I decided I would game myself- instead of incentivising myself for making something beautiful (because nothing matches up to the perfect ideal of what exists in my head anyway), I decided that success consists of one imperfect drawing. Pen only, no erasers allowed.
And thus, the Ugly Sketchbook Project was born!
The name and the idea are shamelessly stolen from Fran Meneses, who is probably my most favourite creative person on Youtube today. She has an ugly sketchbook too. (it’s funny that we have to label a sketchbook with ‘you are permitted to have ugly drawings’, because HAVE YOU SEEN THE SKETCHBOOKS ON SOCIAL MEDIA? HOW ARE THEY ALL SO PERFECT? WHY CAN’T MY SKETCHBOOK LOOK LIKE THAT?)
I made a couple of rules to start off with:
1) Use pens
2) Don’t use erasers
3) Keep it next to you all the time (thank you, Mr. Thaler)
The first spread was a reference from Pinterest, and a note about not using erasers. And a list of things to sketch. And a doodle from the first item on the list.
Over the next few weeks, I filled the sketchbooks with reference doodles, quotes, thoughts, patterns, drawings from life and parts of conversations.
I finished the first sketchbook in 40 days (usually, a sketchbook takes up to 3 years), the second in 29. I continued even after successfully completing the challenge, and am now on my 4th sketchbook.
Why the ugly sketchbook works:
1) Forcibly takes pressure off — make something great? umm, how will I ever…? Make something ugly? I WAS BORN FOR THIS!
2) Incentivising action — even making a small unintelligible scribble is a win. And once you have drawn for 7 days in a row, you kinda wanna keep the streak going.
3) No one has to see your failures — I put it on a separate, anonymous profile, but you don’t have to tell or show anyone. If you mess up, just draw over it, or next to it. Move on.
4) Hard to mourn cheap stationery: which means the cost of failure is really low. I don’t mind spoiling something cheap and disposable.
5) Quantity over quality — which, as it turns out, leads to quality, too
How it changed me:
- I actually started drawing
- More confidence — line quality improved (eventually, thanks to no erasers!)
- Drawing at the speed of thought. I also see an inkling of my own natural style.
- Looking forward to drawing — drawing as a relaxing activity as opposed to something I have to stress about
- I became more observant and started finding material everywhere. Somehow, managing the house when my mother got down with covid wasn’t such a daunting task. When washing dishes, and attending meetings and cleaning, I started paying attention to the world around me and finding humour in the mundane.
- My friends started finding things for me to put in the sketchbook.
How to do your own ugly sketchbook:
- Buy a cheap notebook(or use what you have). I use these (I’m not popular enough to have brands sponsor me, I don’t get any money for promoting this) The paper quality is nice, and I like that it’s just cheap, generic notebook with no branding at all.
- Get a pen/any drawing media. I use — a pilot sign pen, a Muji gel pen, a brush water pen filled with black rotring ink. The idea is to limit your media (choose any one-doesn’t matter) so instead of focusing on choosing what to draw with, focus on what to to draw.
- Keep it next to your dominant hand at all times. If you’re anything like me, you get all of your best ideas when you’re deeply immersed in (or supposed to be doing) something else. You just need to scribble it all down. It doesn’t need to be perfect. In fact, it needs to be ugly. It doesn’t need to be intelligible to anyone else but you. It is but a first draft that you can endlessly refine at subsequent settings (and surprisingly, you will, as opposed to all the other projects/drawings that you kept on the back burner because they needed time to work on, because you actually have a foundation to start from.
The idea is to limit your media so instead of focusing on choosing what to draw with, focus on what to to draw.
Use this for other creative pursuits!
Maybe drawing isn’t your thing. Maybe you’re a writer or a musician or an athlete. I still think this approach can help you. Adapt this by limiting the breadth of techniques you can use, try to create ONE mediocre poem, or article, or song. Try to get one short, slow run in. And make it easy to start doing the thing you want to do — keep a notebook with you at all times, wear your workout clothes as soon as you wake up — remove all the additional steps that you need to overcome before starting the task. If you miss a day, just carry on as if you didn’t!
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My reason for starting this publication: Design Doing, Designer Being
Understanding self to understand others: Dear Designer, Take off your shoes
If you do try this out, let me know that went below! :) If there’s something else you’d like to know, let me know too!
