Trusting the process
As a researcher, I’ve been trained to move slowly and deliberately. I typically start every new project with a deep and protracted dive into the relevant literature. I’ve been conditioned to withhold my opinions, perspectives, and feedback on topics that I have not yet developed expertise in (there are likely gender dynamics at play here as well). With this background, my first exposure to design thinking was jarring. Phrases like “bias toward action” ran up against many years of bias toward over-analysis. Sharing prototypes not subject to at least 20 rounds of internal review tapped into longstanding feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. My initial reaction was resistance. Something about my approach has been working, why change it now? Yet, in response to our teaching team’s expertly applied (gentle) pressure, I slowly began to submit to the design process. I’ve come out on the other side much fuller than I anticipated.
Initially, it felt particularly irresponsible to “move fast” on a such a complex and consequential task: the dismantling of anti-Black racism in higher education. Throughout history, there are countless examples of well-intentioned, but poorly conceived actions — often initiated by well-meaning white “allies” — that have resulted in substantial setbacks for anti-racist movements and very real consequences for Black, Indigenous, and other historically marginalized communities. Through the design process, I learned two critical lessons: first, moving quickly does not mean moving uncritically, and second, immediate action is exactly the approach needed to dismantle anti-Black racism now. The practical elements of the design process (e.g., “you have 30 minutes to choose an idea to prototype”; “your first conversation with stakeholders will happen next week”) revealed that my prior bias toward inaction was not the result of needing more time to understand the problem or a lack of relevant ideas, but a fear of those very ideas and the inevitable control ceded when they are put into practice. Keeping your ideas to yourself is safe and it is also pointless.
These lessons have also contributed to my growth as a white accomplice and co-conspirator in the fight against anti-Black racism. The design process forced me to reflect on the ways in which I was misapplying and hiding behind the imperative to center, listen to, and amplify Black voices as a way to avoid engaging in hard work and the inevitability of making mistakes. Critically reflecting on the potential impacts of my ideas and actions is a necessary and lifelong process. But it cannot and should not lead to immobilization. It is the very process of moving from listening to action, from standing for to standing with, and from playing it safe to risking it all that pave the way for real change to occur.
