I spent a month on Match.com, and it was terrible

I thought that nothing could possibly be worse than Tinder, but I was mistaken.

I have tried every single dating app worth trying, and several that weren’t. Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, The League, Hinge, Happ’n, Once, Zoosk, HER…

My older friends and coworkers insisted that I try Match.com, or Eharmony. “I have friends who met their spouses on Match, you should try it!” They said. “You’ll meet people who are looking for something more serious!” They said. They had the very best of intentions, but I blame them for what happened.

It took me a couple of days to assemble my profile. Good pictures, with about me blurbs that weren’t too long or too short, that said a lot about me and what I was looking for without being too specific and giving people lots of hooks for conversation starters. Despite my suspicions about the platform, I wanted it to work. I don’t care where I find love, just that I do.

One of the supposed benefits of Match is that you can message anyone, and don’t have to wait for them to swipe on you to create a connection. This, in combination with a space for a more in-depth profile, in theory allows for personalities to shine through so the focus is less on “what’s the hottest person you can find to match with you”. I’ve written a lot about how dehumanizing Tinder…