Where does the time go?
…and why have my habits changed so much?
I’ve been writing here about moving to Spain, about the changes that has brought on. Looking back at pre-Spain, I am wondering if I was in a rut or if it’s just all the shiny new things that are distracting me.
For example, I used to wear out my Libby library account. If that was a physical library card, it would be used up and unreadable. I was waiting on at least five books to come through at any given time — I know because the limit is eight, and I had to be careful to leave myself some gaps in case I wanted to add more. Often I would read two books at the same time, just because the next one was available. Now my account is sitting quiet. Several books have become available and disappeared, and the queue is empty. I just haven’t wanted to sit down to read. Reading wasn’t a chore before, it was my pastime, and I really don’t want it to become a forced joy. I miss it, and I don’t really want to make time for it right now; both are true.
I was also pretty heavily into role-playing games online — non-dorks, think Dungeons & Dragons, except on Discord or Zoom instead of your parents’ rec-room — and would play with friends several times a week, some games spanning the last few years. I backed out of my regular games due to time zones. I mean, I love you guys, but rolling pretend dice at 3 a.m. just didn’t sound fun. There are other groups playing in the Central-Europe time zone, but I haven’t looked for them.
So what’s replaced that time? Good question.
- Beach walks, but that’s a more recent possibility; we only moved to the beach last week
- Navigating Valencia, which I did more often in the first few weeks than I have lately
- Work, but I really don’t work any more hours than I ever have at this job
- Spanish class, that’s new; it’s not all-my-waking-hours new, but it is something different
This isn’t some creative writing prompt or attempt at a clever structure. I’m actually noodling this out right now. Perhaps the change is a switch in priorities — temporary or permanent — that doesn’t have any bearing on the past. I was pleased with the things I did two months ago, and I am pleased with what I am doing now. It doesn’t have to indicate a fault or flaw, and I might settle back into my comfortable ruts sometime soon.
It’s still a bit difficult to parse out what new ruts might be forming. What am I doing with my time?
