How to Go Out with a Girl in 7 Simple Steps

You’ve seen it, you liked it, but you do not know how to get her attention and go out with her? Do you think she’s got a guy, beautiful as she is, and you make knots in the brain to know how to approach it?

The 7 stages to move from the stage of unknown to that of a man of his life. How to go out with a girl? By clicking on reading more!

Let’s start from the beginning … The everlasting “Know Thyself”.

Photo by Ashley Schulze on Unsplash

Step 1: Go out with a woman: what for?

That’s a real question, you’re going to say, “Fuck, but does he take us for idiots or what? “ Not at all. You have all my respect, all my consideration, but when I go back in time and I think with the emotion of my first experiences, I say to myself “But I was stupid or what? “

In college, social pressure . Slip pressure also a little, but it was mostly OTHERS. They “went out” with girls. I wondered what we could find them: they did not play football, they did not fight, video games and manga, it worked better with my friends anyway.

Did you also perhaps feel the social pressure that made you go out with a girl? But in truth, apart from kisses and going to the movies with her, I did not know what to do. The sex education classes arriving late, only in class 4 that the time, going out with a girl, it was moderately exciting.

After came puberty, sexual urges, the real desire to sleep with girls, and only much later the desire to make my life with a girl. Not just sleeping with her and attempting crazy sexual experiences, but really going out with a woman, discovering the world with her, caring about her, her career, her well-being, wanting to make her happy, having want to be there for her and grow old by her side, etc. (I know, I’m romantic).

If I detail all this, it’s because recently, during a coaching session in seduction, I had a client a bit amorphous lack of total vitality. The seductive apprentice tells me “I have to learn to seduce because I do not know how to go out with a girl. “

I ask him why he wants to go out with a girl: unable to answer me. He could have told me

1. Because I need to be loved
2. Because I need to comply with social norms
3. Because I want to fuck
4. Because I need to love something other than my console
5. Because I’m homosexual and I’m looking for a blanket
6. Because I need to have children as part of the marriage, etc.

He would have said anything to me, I would have been OK with that, but there he did not seem to know himself why he wanted to go out with a girl.

As I told you, we always come back to the basics: “Know thyself.” If you do not know why you want to go out with a girl, abstain. Because otherwise, you will quickly propose a situation that will not please him …

Step 2: Understand what women want.

Going out with a girl is a contract between her and you. A contract unfortunately not always very well understood between the man and the woman, who arrive each with their expectations.

The film that best illustrates this misunderstanding of male-female relationships? Don Jon recently. Or Blue Valentine too. We see couples embarking on relationships that are not what they dreamed of. On the surface, it goes, but when you dig, you realize that the conception of life that you have and that of the girl are not at all the same …

1. Do you really think she’s dreaming of life watching you play FIFA16 with your friends?
2. Do you want to hear him tell you about the latest developments of S9 or the Angels of TéléRéalité 100000?
3. Will she adhere to your spiritual and silent retreats in monasteries every six months?

Very often, it is fair in a young couple because the vision of life is not the same, because the ambitions are not the same. There are very simple compatibility tests to do from the beginning to find out if this girl is right for you.

1. What is a successful evening for you?
2. What is money well invested for you?
3. What is your favorite type of holiday?
4. Between a biography and a detective story (or a story), what do you prefer to read?
5. What is his definition of success in life?
6. What’s the point of a couple for you? (Now that you have your answer, you can joke and make her talk!)
7. Will she be satisfied with the person you are or will she want to change you?
8. Does she know who she is, does she know what she wants to become? Is she independent (intellectually, financially?)

All these questions are important, these are the basics of setting up a tacit contract when you are about to go out with a girl. After like all contracts, it is evolutionary, a couple is renegotiated daily, according to the desires and needs of each.

Step 3: Knowing how to go out with a girl who suits you

This is the continuation of the previous argument. Very often, we tend to set our sights on someone who does not correspond to us. Which completes us, but badly. I explain myself with an example.

I have a friend, a very serious guy, who is attracted only by girls of the night who come out a lot and by small models who permanently post to the Kim K on Instagram.

Photo by Alex Mihai on Unsplash

Yet he has a way of life in total contradiction with these girls, he sometimes manages to divert the night for a while … But chase the natural, it comes back at a gallop. Tired by these parties, they quickly take off for new adventures clubbing, drugs and alcohol.

The question to ask yourself is what kind of girls are right for you? It’s a question of targeting, pure marketing targeting. Who can you match? Girls, who work in communication? In art? In the army? Girls, who work in crafts or commerce? Nurses? Intellectual professions, liberals?

If you are a bartender, going out with a barmaid or a dancer will not be a problem hourly level. Here we are on a high compatibility rate.

It’s a real job to do, think about what it entails. For example, if you are a homebody and want to stay in France and your girlfriend leaves for six to nine months a year to surf or commit to humanitarian causes, it may crash.

Get into this new relationship with an open mind, try an approach “and why not, after all? How many of my girlfriends swore to me “Oh no! Never a lawyer! “ And end up marrying one of their colleagues? They correspond, they understand the constraints of the way of life of the other …

I want to expand the question to “How to go out with a girl made for you? “ Is developed here (in search of the perfect woman !)

Knowing how to aim is also knowing where to look. Here again, among beginners in seduction, we want to believe in myths and miracle methods. The reality is that Love at first sight in Notting Hill, where the bookseller goes out with the Hollywood star, does not exist in real life.

Finding a girl that suits you means going to the same places. If you are Hellfest and she is Tomorrowland, it may not be very compatible between her and you.

If you like going out, you will probably have more affinities with a girl who reads Villa Schweppes or Time Out than a girl who reads blogs on knitting. It’s a question of social habits, of habitus (a sociologist’s thing, I recommend you to learn about norms and values, and social mobility is fascinating, and it will help you understand a lot of things about social dynamics .)

Now that you have found it, finally … that you know where to look and who to look for, it’s time to approach it!

Step 4: How to go out with a girl without addressing her?

Answer: It’s almost impossible. How to seduce a woman without addressing it: you have to be a star, be very beautiful, have a reputation that precedes you, otherwise, there is almost no chance for a girl to take the first step to tell you how much she wants to know you.

At some point, to start the relationship with this girl, it will have to be addressed, yes Gentlemen! It’s your job and it’s often what scares you the most. Yet, nothing is easier than to approach a woman.

You see her, she sees you, you take the first step, then the second, and if she still looks at you, you’ll say “Good evening!” “ (Hello or if the day). There are a lot of very specific rules about how to approach a woman but I will focus on the most important point in my opinion: the art of observation.

Because yes, if you approach it, a conversation starts. Finding the courage to talk to a woman is basically easy . Where it gets harder is when you have to keep the intensity of the conversation for more than three minutes, once you have gone through the usual mundane issues:

1. With who are you?
2. Where do you come from?
3. What’s your name?
4. What do you do in life? (Business, studies …)

Once you have gone through these boat questions, use your sense of observation to bounce and chain!

1. Does she have an accent when she speaks?
2. What valve or compliment can you make on his hands, his hair, his dress, his earrings?
3. Is his phone decorated with a ridiculous hull, is it awkward, ah yes tell me all that?

Watch all that is happening around you: your environment teems with conversation starters, ice-breakers, in French, pretext to allow you to continue a fun and light conversation.

And do not forget to deal with the context: let me tell you about hot environments and cold environments.

Approach a girl in a warm environment

A warm environment is an environment where people are supposed to talk to each other because they have something in common. A job seminar, the birthday of a friend, the party of the neighbors: so many opportunities to talk about everything and nothing, but especially to approach the girl who pleases you without asking you the question of whether you will pass for a flirty.

Photo by Joel Overbeck on Unsplash

Yes, you may be considered a flirty, but in this context, you are invited to present, thanks to this famous common point. It’s called being sociable and putting people at ease.

1. “Hi, are you working in which business unit? “
2. “Hi, how do you know the birthday boy? “
3. “So, you are the neighbor of the 5 the floor, right? “

The cold environment, by contrast, is an environment where you do not have a priori anything in common with the girl you want to approach. And this is where your sense of observation and your reverence will play in your favor.

It will be up to you to create them, these common points, and quickly enough if possible. For example, a cold environment is a bar, a box, the subway, the street, the hospital, the supermarket.

No need to dig your head for hours to approach a girl:

“Hi, what are you drinking? My glass is empty and I’m fed up with mojitos. “
“Hi, do you know where the girls’ toilets are? It’s always cleaner than those guys … “
“You can stop there, in the end, he dies. But it’s better for him … “if she reads a novel in the subway.
“Hello! Do you know what this street has exceptional? This is the street where we met … “ (walk with ALL the places, one day she will tell your children with what courage you have approached!)
In a cold environment, your sense of observation will be used even more quickly, because nothing justifies this conversation. It will be up to you quickly to take his phone number and find a quick excuse to see it again.

Step 5: Go out with a woman, in the literal sense of the word

Ok, you touched on it. Ok, it went well, she liked your conversation, she loved your spirit, and you feel that you are moving in the right direction.

But how to do it again? If the greatest seducers manage to practice the moment date (the fact of proposing a coffee), for us, the traditional process of American appointment seems to be normalized.

We meet, we exchange the coordinates, and we see each other for a coffee to see if it can really stick between us.

It is during this first meeting that you must throw all your strength into the battle. Because in an appointment, you will be able to show all that women are looking for.

1. You will be able to reassure her on your emotional and financial stability (or prove to her that you are a fada, an artist, a tortured of life, it attracts girls to problems, it works well).
2. You will be able to show him that you want to engage, that you are not just there to tell him a little bit, sleep with her just one night and take the tangent (unless she wants her to ass, so be connected, be on the same wavelength)
3. Storytelling, anecdotes, stories between friends, your best holidays, your last readings, the last making-of that you saw, your last trekking in Uzbekistan

Some necessary reminders are needed:

1. The conversation is a sport that is played with two. Leave room for him, but do not become his silent confidant.
2. The conversation, when we want to go out with a girl, is not the same as we have with teachers we want to convince or a jury we want to seduce.
3. Think first of all about emotions.
4. Take the basics of communication. What is your message? How do you want to pass it? Are you close enough to her physically? What signals does it send when you tell your stories or when you give it a compliment?
5. Are you becoming his buddy or are you in control of sexual tension?
   In what framework do you propose to see him again? A party in a club does not encourage conversation, where a simple bar can be enough to make you admire yourself!

One last point: do not let go of your goal. To see her again. Make him understand that you like him. That right now, if there were no social conventions, you’d love to flatten it against the wall and …

Step 6: Take it or surprise it?

Both my colonel! The surprise factor is really essential. How many girls complain about seeing too much in their guys’ game?

“He’s nice, but …” , or “He’s so perfect … almost too perfect”. What they mean when they complain guys are a good guy is, for her, a match won before even entering the field.

There is no challenge, no challenge. But the omen-like challenges. I’m not going to tell you that they all like to complicate their lives, but a lot of them need to feel alive.

Need emotions Even negative emotions to work, this is the secret of the success of “bad boys” with women. They are annoying. Like married men with whom your girlfriends come out … Not available, but they are so surprising: women are looking for the intensity of the relationship.

This is an important point to seduce a woman. The surprise. Would you like to know today that your daily life will always be the same for the next 20 or 30 years? I do not think so. It’s the same for women.

A little attention, a surprise, a secret that you unveil to them: surprises are part of the ingredients to give women the emotional roller coaster they love.

Speaking of things that women love, it is high time for me to unveil the last point. A painful point for which some women refuse to go out with you. To really engage.

Step 7: Woman who enjoys, half in your life

I recently came across a Facebook cover of a friend where the following mantra was written: “What women want? Orgasms and loyalty. “

Loyalty is quite complex to define. A question of respect, of sincerity with your darling, a question of communication. The “orgasms” part is even easier to understand.

Women love sex just like us. Depending on the women, some will tell you that sex represents 50% of the success of a couple, others will tell you that it can go up to 90%.

I meet too many seduced apprentices in distress who explain to me to go out with girls in the evening, to manage to have appointments with her, to sleep with them … but they never call back after.

Objectively, the guy is good, presents well, speaks well, has a good situation. But do not know how to fuck. Do not worry about the pleasure of his partner. Do not consider sex as a priority.

I have girlfriends who confessed to me falling in love with guys in writing, Adopt, Tinder, etc … but who really disillusioned when it went bad sexually.

Would you like to go out with a girl who is nil in bed? No, probably not. In the same way, do you imagine a girl going out with you, getting involved with you in the long run when it works badly in bed? No more.

Help us even better write our articles to answer your questions! When you want to go out with a girl, what blocks you most in your home?

Read More: How To Go Out With A Girl: The 5 key Steps To Follow