Silence is Golden
except when it’s not
He raped me several years ago and I was so frozen in fear that I didn't do anything. My family didn't do anything. His family didn't believe it or didn't care even if they did. I kept silent to the police. I kept silent for too long.
And this was golden for him.
Silence is golden.
Except when it’s not.
Years have passed and the simple concept of “No means no.” is still something he fails to grasp. In fact, my silence for all these years has been his golden ticket to living a free lie.
Silence is golden.
Except when it’s not.
I’m a rape victim and the rape has not stopped even though the things that happened physically that night haven’t happened since. The rape has changed forms. From the alienation and isolation to the now psychological conditioning. Everything about me to him is wrong and I need to disappear… unless it’s to help pay for his lie.
I think about all the things that have lead us to this point. Of the adultery. Of the pleads to make things change. But he’d already checked out. And he now had vengeance… vengeance that has not died even though a piece of me died that night.
Silence is golden.
Except when it’s not.
Not a day goes by that I am not getting raped in my mind. Not a day goes by that I do not remember looking back at that blank stare when he said to me that he “just wanted to get laid.” It was the night he showed without a shadow of a doubt just how little he thought of me… and how he will always think of me.
Silence is golden.
Except when it’s not.
Not a day goes by that I can forget the feeling when he took my children and ran with another woman to a city on the opposite end of the state. How both of our families knew, supported him, and didn't care. How he played games and prevented me from seeing them while they were still here. How he played games and prevented me from seeing them after he illegally moved them cross country without my consent. Twice. And still continues without a care in the world.
Silence is golden.
Except when it’s not.
He raped me several years ago and I was so frozen in fear that I didn't do anything. My family didn't do anything. His family didn't believe it or didn't care even if they did. I kept silent to the police. I kept silent for too long.
And this was golden for him.
Silence is golden.
Except when it’s not.
Years have passed and the simple concept of “No means no.” is still something he fails to grasp. He continues to violate me in any and every way that he can: financially, emotionally, and legally. And his lover doesn't care or believe it. And his family doesn't care or believe it.
And so he gets away with it. My silence for all these years has been his golden ticket to living a free lie.
Silence is golden.
Except when it’s not.
According to http://www.safela.org/:
“ Someone is sexually assaulted every 2 minutes in the United States, and 60% of these crimes are never reported to the police. “
Spousal rape and abuse is a very real thing.
There are several types of abuse that can happen that go beyond the physical.
If you or anyone you know is the victim of a rape or form of domestic abuse, I urge you to not be afraid. Your silence is exactly what is desired by the rapist and they may just take your silence to mean that you are ok with it and it could potentially result in more. Tell someone right away before it could be too late. Trust me. I wish I had.
Oftentimes victims are too afraid to say anything themselves until much later. The raped person is not the only person who can report the rape. If you are on the outside, be supportive and never blame the victim, regardless of your relationship with them. Your assistance and support can save someone from years of anguish and pain.
Your voice deserves to be heard. Don’t silence yourself for anyone.
No one deserves to be raped. No one deserves to be abused. No means no.
Silence is golden.
Except when it’s not.
About me:
I’m a tenured professional journalist and social media professional with several identities and stories across the web. Some of those stories are those of anothers’ journey. Some of them are my own. You can find me regularly blogging about various topics on my blog Littlegirlbigcity.me or my professional portfolio on Socialmedialoves.me. If you’d like to share stories or have some drafted for you (original, naturally), feel free to message me. Thank you for reading.
