Spiritual Abuse: The “Jezebel Spirit” Accusation
I know toxic church leaders do not call and consult with one another about the best spiritually abusive behaviors to inflict upon congregation members and staff, but it sure does feel like it sometimes. The reason it appears as if these abusive leaders are conspiring with one another is because they all use very similar methods of harm. Within charismatic and some evangelical circles, being accused of having a Jezebel Spirit is one of the most common and psychologically twisted forms of abuse. Why? Because the typical definition of a Jezebel Spirit can also be very closely aligned with victims in religiously abusive relationships. Abusive leaders take the actual strengths of the target of abuse, reconstruct them and declare the victims of having a demonic spirit — also known as the Jezebel Spirit.
I recently stumbled upon the article, “What are the Characteristics of the Jezebel Spirit?” by Eston Swaby. I want to respond to a few of his points and bring a different view to light. Depending on how you see each of these, it could be a demonic spirit at work or a victim trying to find safety in a specifically unhealthy environment.
- “Refuses to admit guilt or wrong”
I once worked for a pastor who insisted I keep my thought process to myself and instead apologize for any actions he deemed a mistake. He gave me no time to share why I took the steps that I did on any given assignment for my job. When I entered his office after he believed that I had made an error, he wanted me to immediately admit guilt and wrongdoing. As a supervisor, he was in the position to determine whether I had done my job to his liking. However, I was looking for a chance to explain the process I went through to take a certain course of action. In doing so, I thought I could adapt to think in a way that aligned better with his expectations. Unfortunately, he only wanted to hear that I was sorry for not doing it correctly. Someone who may refuse to admit guilt or wrong may not succumb to being controlled by someone like this pastor and in turn, is not given the opportunity to be heard before an apology is authentically given.
2. “Ignores People”
Some people need to be ignored. Sometimes the goal is to put as much distance between a survivor of abuse and the abuser. Within a church setting, boundaries are not always welcomed or honored. The term ‘no contact’ is well known within the psychological abuse recovery community. It’s exactly as it sounds. Contact with an abuser is completely cut off. But instead, the toxic leader despises being ignored or not being able to control the survivor. Despite toxic leaders deeming the action of ignoring as a sign of a demonic spirit, it’s actually a sign of the victim trying to set healthy boundaries.
3. “Is Insubordinate”
The slippery slope of being accused of being insubordinate… Do some employees have a difficult time following directions and act surly? Yes. However, in an abusive religious work environment, insubordination is one of the most common accusations made against the target of abuse. Why? A toxic religious leader desires unquestioned power. They do not want any authentic accountability, so when a staff member tries to stand his or her personal ground against the abuse, they will be told they are insubordinate. It’s very difficult to protect yourself from being claimed as insubordinate. Any attempts to speak up, disagree, or address a possible smear campaign will cause the staff member to provide ‘proof’ of their insubordinate attitude. It is almost impossible to become untangled from this form of abuse. To further the damage, it’s listed as one of the ways to determine if a Jezebel Spirit is at work in the staff member.
4. “Is Independent”
In a toxic church environment, independence is viewed as a negative. Abusive leaders want to establish supreme control over their congregation members and staff. This level of control may be exercised in a covert manner so the depth of control and manipulation is harder to grasp. The victim of abuse can feel it, but has difficulty proving and finding evidence of the harm. Stifling independence in those around them is a sure way for leaders to ensure they are firmly in control and beyond accountability. A congregation or staff member who attempts to exercise their free-will and gain personal strength will not be easily manipulated, which is why taking away independence is an essential ingredient to maintaining a toxic church environment.
Have you ever been accused of having a Jezebel Spirit? Were you the target of abusive religious leaders? First, I want to say that you are not alone. Many survivors of spiritual abuse know the pain you have gone through. It’s heartbreaking to have your church leaders or elders use what you see as your strengths as weapons to shame you. Your desire to maintain your own personhood is not allowed in a poisonous religious setting. This is why being accused of having a Jezebel Spirit is so harmful to spiritual abuse survivors.
I encourage you to embrace your independence, allow yourself the freedom to set whatever boundaries you feel are necessary for your recovery and surround yourself with healthy individuals who are not threatened by your personal achievements.
