4 Types of Software Developers You’ll (Unfortunately) Work With
Throughout your career in tech you will meet and work with a whole bunch of developers . Most of these you’ll forget the day you leave and they’ll probably never cross your mind again, but some of them you’ll be thinking about for years to come. For example,
“Wait, this is his first job?!” - I remember the first time I asked this question about a fellow dev a month or so after I joined a new company. Fresh faced, quiet and tearing through tickets as if their life depended on it; the signs are all there. This is the Junior Developer who takes to the job like a duck to water. The proverbial sponge. Niamh Jobs. Phil Gates. This person is barely 6 months into their career and is as effective as anybody in the team. I know what you’re thinking, there’s a big ‘unfortunately’ in the title so what place does this person have on our list? Or maybe you’ve already met this developer and you know the answer: they’re just TOO good. Jealousy is an awful trait and if this developer felt emotions they’d probably be better at hiding it than me too.
The ‘Actually…’ Guy
The word that causes you to clench your teeth and close your eyes as you hear it from across the office. There’s a small conversation going on at a bank of desks and somebody has just uttered a fact that isn’t technically correct, and this developer HAS to interject otherwise they might just explode. I’m not sure what the worst part about this particular developer is, the fact that they can’t let a conversation happen around them without joining in, or the fact that sometimes they do have something genuinely interesting to add (which makes it one of the most boring games of almost roulette I’ve ever played). The thing about this developer is that they have a lot of value to add as a developer, it’s just the mind-numbing stories we need to get through in the mean time.
The Party Animal
The stereotype for the modern day developer is dead. For every quiet ‘nerd’ I’ve met a protein-packed gym head. For every board game player I’ve met a long distance runner. This developer takes it to another level. I’ve met a couple of this developer in my career and enjoying a beer myself it’s always been a welcome sight at first, but quickly begins to take years off my life. This developer keeps you out for ‘one more pint’ at 8PM and before you know it you’re smiling to yourself in the back of an uber home at 2AM.
The difference is, this developer beats you into the office the day after and suggests another drink that same evening. This developer has torn through a couple tickets in the day and had a maccies for lunch while I had to go for a sit down wee before AND after stand up. As bad as the day after was all memory of it is erased by next week when you receive a slack message containing nothing but the beer emoji. Do I want to do it again? I mean I DID make good progress on my ticket today…
The Wise Old Owl
This developer has been around the block. They’ve worked with languages that sound like they’ve been made up just to catch you out on a multiple choice test for an interview. They have a wealth of experience but CV writing is something they never picked up (4 pages?!). They’ve either been at the same company for an eye-watering number of years or they’ve had more jobs than the rest of their team combined, but one thing is for certain: they speak a lot. Stories that are so long by the third act nobody (not even the Owl) knows the original point. The stories are told as if they were a murder mystery novel; no detail is spared. Will the yellow bus with a flat tire be relevant by the end? Nobody knows, much less will remember.
This developer is stuck in their ways and still does the same things they did 10 years ago, they just don’t remember why anymore. This developer is why everybody spends less than 3 minutes in the kitchen at a time, any more and you risk being trapped for the sequel to War and Peace. As bad as the stories are, you can’t really dislike this member of the team. You CAN however all leave 5 minutes after each other and meet at the pub separately just in case they were to tag along. Hypothetically.
Thanks for reading.