Battling Giants in the Land
In Numbers 13–14, the children of Israel send spies into the land of Canaan — the land God has promised to give them. They return with grape clusters so huge, they need to carry them on a pole between two men. Enthusiastically, the spies effuse about a land flowing with milk and honey. It is all God has promised after an escape from oppression and long, weary journey through the wilderness. Fulfillment of God’s promises are so close, the children of Israel can see and touch them.
But there’s a problem. The spies also report that Amalekites and descendants of the Nephalim, frightening giants, guard the land. And Israel must get rid of these before inhabiting the land God wants for them. They tremble in fear.
This was the generation of Israelites who were miraculously brought out of Egypt and saw manna from the sky and water from the rocks in the desert. But their faith failed them in that moment. That generation died never having a chance to face the giants because they refused to believe God could deliver them. Their children saw miracles as they claimed the land— mighty giants fell, walls crumbled, the land was allocated to the tribes. When they simply believed and obeyed God, they saw Him do amazing things. He is bigger than the giants.
It makes me think of the fears in my life — the things that hold me back from inhabiting God’s promises for me. Some have taken the promised land to represent heaven, or a place of prosperity, or breakthrough. I don’t really want to theologize about that. To me, the promise land represents something fresh and beautiful God wants for me. Maybe it’s a new place of spiritual freedom or maybe a new area of ministry. At any rate, for me the giants in the land are my insidious fears. Fear of danger to my health and family. The fear of failure or shame. They loom as large as the ugly, frightening giants of fairy tales and seem unconquerable. Sometimes I swing and fight and kick at the giants to no avail — they don’t leave me alone and I cannot defeat them.
One of the most massive, most disgusting giants of fear in my life has been the fear of failure. For whatever reason, I have always hesitated to take a risk that might prove me foolish or inept. A few years back, after a fruitful decade of college ministry, my husband and I felt called to another city to go as church planters. We sold our home and most of our belongings and moved thousands of miles away. After 2 1/2 year though, nothing we attempted worked and we returned to our family here in Florida.
God is slowly revealing the purposes in time by continuing to bring fruit from the connections we made in that season, but for ministry purposes it felt like a failure. Yet when the dust settled and I looked around, I realized I was still loved — by God, by my church family, by my kids. I also realized how powerful God’s love was to carry us through some challenges and hold us in some really painful moments. The giant failure didn’t seem so terrible in light of God’s grace and restoration. God proved himself more sovereign and full of grace in that battle than ever before.
When I take my eyes off the giants in the land and fix them on Jesus, I accept that I can’t even muster up enough faith to battle the ugly giants holding me back from leading with grace and power. When I let him pour faith into my heart and call on him to fight for me, that’s when the giants don’t look so big. That’s when I can step into whatever it is God is holding out to me — freedom, fearlessness, a fruitful direction. Then the battle doesn’t crush me or exhaust me because the victory is won. The giants are bigger than my faith, but not bigger than my God.
