“New Rules” by Dua Lipa is Actually a Song to Live By
Besides being a catchy song, “New Rules” has lyrics that relate to anyone who has ever felt like they weren’t good enough.
This semester of college has been the hardest in my life for finding self worth and learning to love myself. On my drive today, I was listening to this song and found connections to everything I’ve learned on my journey to being okay with myself again.
Despite the song’s reputation for being an anthem for dealing with exes, it can relate to relationships of all types.
“Talkin’ in my sleep at night
Makin’ myself crazy
(Out of my mind, out of my mind)
Wrote it down and read it out
Hopin’ it would save me
(Too many times, too many times)
Oh, he makes me feel like nobody else
Nobody else
But my love, he doesn’t love me
So I tell myself, I tell myself”
So many times I’ve found myself getting self esteem and feeling worth from interactions with others. When those relationships are lost, it’s easy to lose all the self esteem and worth as well. You can look back at these relationships with friends, family, significant others, etc. over and over and feel “crazy” for seeming unwanted by people who were such a significant part of your life and who made you “feel like nobody else.”
Lesson 1: Avoid feeling “crazy” or “unloved” by knowing what you bring to the table. You are a good friend, you are a good family member, you are a good significant other, etc. No matter how the relationship made you feel, if your contributions to the relationship weren’t recognized like they should have, stop writing it down and reading it out and realize that you ARE everything. You ARE loveable.
“One, don’t pick up the phone
You know he’s only calling ’cause he’s drunk and alone
Two, don’t let him in
You have to kick him out again
Three, don’t be his friend
You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you’re under him
You ain’t getting over him”
Lesson 2: It’s okay to not be everyone’s friend. It’s okay to not let someone in if you’re not ready or it’s not healthy. Surround yourself with loving people who never have to be kicked out in the first place. Surround yourself with people who love you when they aren’t bored or when it might not be the easiest to love you because those are the people that truly deserve to be there.
“I keep pushin’ forwards
But he keeps pullin’ me backwards
(Nowhere to turn, no way)
(Nowhere to turn, no)
Now I’m standing back from it
I finally see the pattern
(I never learn, I never learn)
But my love, he doesn’t loves me
So I tell myself, I tell myself
I do, I do, I do”
Lesson 3: By accepting which people are good and bad for you, who loves you for who you are and who loves you when it’s convenient, and who takes and who gives, it let’s you move forward. Don’t get hung up on blaming yourself for the situation, if you love yourself and what you offer, you know what you deserve back. By letting negative people come in and out of your life over and over again because they might change, you will never get over the hurt that was caused and ultimately never be the happiest version of yourself.
“Practice makes perfect
I’m still tryna’ learn it by heart
Eat, sleep, and breathe it
Rehearse and repeat it”
Lesson 4: Part of life is making mistakes. It’s okay to keep learning and to keep trying. Try your best because that is all any of us can do. Keep in mind what you deserve and remind yourself of that … “eat, sleep and breathe” self-love. “Rehearse and repeat it” until it becomes natural.
So that’s it.. listen to this anthem and think about how WORTHY you are in every relationship in your life.
