27. Strategic Allocation of Attention

The famous marshmallow test conducted by Walter Mischel surfaced the importance of delayed gratification. Follow-up research indicated that those who could handle delayed gratification were likely to do well in their education in addition to their life pursuits and relationships.

Based on hundreds of hours of observation, Mischel concluded that the crucial skill of those who did well on delayed gratification was “strategic allocation of attention.” He affirmed, “Once you realize that will power is just a matter of learning how to control your attention and thoughts, you can really begin to increase it.”

How does this research finding relate to the practice of transformational dialogue? The practice of transformational dialogue is counterintuitive to the quick fix, instant satisfaction that we find in much of our society. It requires patience to listen and interpret what those whom we seek to understand mean. We must delay our first response reflections and give a second and a third thought to responses. We must suppress our distracting thoughts about how much time this is taking, why it is taking this person or this group so long to get to the point, or am I really interested in what is happening here.

In other posts, we have listed the benefits of practicing transformational dialogue. The additional benefit of using strategic allocation of attention in dialogue is the mental reward that our brains provide for feeling that something good happened here, some bonding has occurred, and the smiles we ended up with will make the rest of the day, week, and beyond happier.

For more about this dialogue mission, please visit: https://dialogue4us.com.