Diary of a Christian
Letter to Jesi
To my partner during the pandemic
Background
This is a letter that I dedicate towards my girlfriend (now my fiance) at the end of 2020. During that time, we were separated and could not meet due to Covid in Singapore (where I was) and Indonesia (where she was).
But with this letter comes the hope of knowing that this is not the whole picture. That we have the Creator who said: “I have better plans for you”.
“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone — while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? (Job 38:4–7)
This gave me the consolation for writing this letter.
Hope this letter can be a frank and positive message for all of you out there on how a Christian (myself) feels in the middle of isolation and suffering.
In God, we joy.
Hi my beloved Jesi…
Why do we need this letter?
I know that it has not been long since we met due to Covid. But I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to understand me. I know you have this feeling of “Why me?” which wants to scream “Aaaaaaaa”. But thanks for keeping those feelings in. I know it is hard, but thank you for that.
My family knows how dangerous Covid is and that the ideal treatment and actions should be to stay at home and be away from everyone. There are many stories that my family hears which put my mom to her biggest worry and the family mental strain. Given that you are going to start working in the office at this uncertain time, I regret to say that I could not see you as often as you expect to have.
The Hope
I know this is frustrating to you. But I also want to encourage you to use this time of separation to reflect and grow ourselves. To think about the best way to serve others and finally to give the utmost effort to worship God.
I will always love you. You are my partner to pursue God together and we will keep in touch using video calls. This time apart is not a curse, but it is the blessing that God gave to us to control ourselves and salvage holiness in whatever way we can have.
Develop yourself
Since we are not seeing each other. I want this time to be the focus time to develop ourselves in the absence of each other. As I have told you, I plan to focus on work and developing skills in analytics. Since I am done with my masters, I hope to create more solutions and products for Google and help other people. Similarly, you could use the time to evaluate our relationship wisely and expand your skills.
For me, I foresee that Singapore, or any other country, will invite external skill based workers. And if you want to maximize your chance of getting a great job, you might want to invest hard skills (software, video editing, and graphics design).
Pursue God
I also hope that we would grow up together to pursue Holiness and Glorification of God.
Without His great love, we will be easily led astray by Satan. And tragedy, chaos, and accusations might come which will break our relationships into pieces.
I believe that the fact that we can get engaged and go strong despite LDR and broken boundaries is due to God’s mercy alone. We are weak. Very very weak.
We are easily tempted. But we need to keep repenting. And this time apart might be what we need to keep pursuing Him.
Be happy
Finally, what I want you to know is lastly, I want you to be happy. I want you to feel that everything is right.
No matter where we are, no matter what we do, no matter how we use the littlest time in our life.
Always do the right thing, and be happy. If God is willing to wait until the end of time to bless us despite our sins and away from him(irresistible grace). We could persevere until God has bonded us in the holy sacraments of marriage.
Always love God more. Always.
Finally
Sorry
- that I could not be with you as freely as our friends.
- that I could not fulfill your expectations to be with you physically all the time.
- that I keep making you sad through the news and thoughts that I made
- that I always insist on you to be supportive to me.
Thank you
- that you still stick with me despite all boulders of struggles
- that you tolerate my egotistical self to be complimented Masters of Science
- that you be with me through the loneliness of my life
- that we keep repenting and praying for gratitude
Thank you for agreeing to be my partner in Life and pursuit of God.
Soli deo gloria (Only in His Glory, His Kingdom Comes)
