Romance in Christ
My Engagement Story
Story of being engaged to the love of my life
19th December 2020…
There it was, one of the most special days in my life. The celebration of finally finishing my OMSCS Master of Science degree while at the same time, the start of my engagement with the love of my life.
I have been reflecting how many times of this day. But the memory is still very clear. It was indeed a special day
The Wedding rings
I researched through many catalogues and brochures for so many months. I looked through sites for information on budget, 4Cs, and jumped across shops for samples until I found the perfect one. I even contacted Jassie’s friends, and her older sister. They thought it was pretty. so I also thought it was pretty. And I knew this is the best one.
I recommended you to watch this video before you buy engagement rings.
Diamond ring specifications:
What are the volumes? What kinds of personality do you want to see? What kinds of stones do you want to use for your engagement (diamond, sapphire, ruby, etc). What are the cut and shape of your ring? What metals that you would like to choose?
How many Carat that you want to buy? How should the stone be set, do you want to have settings? Stone needs to be certificated and I suggest you have the jeweller you trust. How much you should choose in terms of Cut, color, clarity, color, weight.
Stores to get?
There are some budget stores that you could start with your exploratory analysis. James Allen andl Blue Nile have great websites where you can filter the listings on your specifications (Circle, I, VS1. Cut.). For example, deep or looks great or maybe that Diamond will look 20% larger with proper setups.
Budget I have?
I have 4000 SGD as my budget (this is roughly half my monthly salary). I think a half month salary is enough as my girlfriend (now fiancee) does not want overly expensive specifications (clean and simple are good enough for her). But at the same time, this budget still communicates that I appreciate her presence and patience in me.
Following are more specifications with the budgets I have
- Shape: round (simple and clean, you cannot be wrong with it)
- Color: I,H,G,F,E,D (not overly yellow and have a clean look.
- Cut: Ideal and Clarity >SI1 (good specifications of cut and clarity)
- Carat: Below or equal to 0.99 (this is considered huge, anything above 1 carat has a very difference price jump)
- Rings: Solitaire (standard)
Choices of diamond ring
- Setting 5 juta (Jassie likes simpler settings)
- Berlian 0.57 f vvs2 harga setelah diskon usd 2100 (2850 SGD)
- Berlian 0.70 f vvs2 harga setelah diskon usd 3350 (4550 SGD) + setting 5 juta.
The flower
I looked through some sample flowers and asked my friend (florist) to help me with arranging the right flowers and bouquets. I know Jesi likes yellow and light color and I decided that this is the right bouquet with the right message of “I love you”.
The place.
Jesi likes eating at high places. And since it is covid season, I will need to find a good place where we can have meal with proper Covid prevention schemes.
The following are some of my written options and priorities.
- Oso Ristorante. This is the best, it is at the high ground, with great food, great review, and great atmosphere. Definitely my first choice!
- Animale is recommended by my sister. It is a 11th storey restaurant which seems to also promise a vibrant atmosphere.
- The Edge, Kemang Icon with 50 SGD min order. Looks good but not as good as animale. But it is definitely cheaper
- The cheapest one is Sky Garden cafe with 35 SGD min order.
Unfortunately Oso Ristorante is closed due to covid. In the end, we went to Animale.
The vow
Once the food comes, this comes the moment.
I have a stage fright to conclude my 3 years journey with her.
It seems I have a butterfly in my stomach and dreaming about all possible answers before we move on. But I pray, and pray, and pray. And God makes it feel right.
I looked at her in the eyes longing to communicate my thoughts for her as no words can reflect my feelings perfectly. But we all know the world is not that great. Human beings are full of weaknesses, so do I as a human. But it is for the good cause, for me to gather my courage and tell my intention once and for all.
“Do you still remember the first time I met you”
I met Jesi at the church conference in Jakarta. We happened to meet volunteering together as ushers to help attendees to focus on the conference. We had a chat about where we wanted to bring our lives to. She is the dreamer, wanting to glorify the Lord from her writings and inspire others.
She is a polar opposite yet similar to me. She has a great dream but not enough conviction to pursue, while I have a strong execution plan but not so clear perception as to what to pursue. But she is also similar to me, we want to be helpful for others, we think deeper into life than 40 hours work week. I have always admired that spirit in her.
I told her that it was gradual, but I grew my love to her. We have been going through Long Distance since the first we met. But the distance grew our love closer and closer rather than distant apart. We long for God more and more. That longingness brings us closer to each other more and more. It is indeed within God’s grace and miracle that we can substantiate our feelings despite LDR.
LDR is not a curse. It is painful, but it is a blessing. It allows us to grow and becomes adults to be dependent on God as much as possible.
“Do you know the three reasons I love you?”
I went ahead to three reasons why I want her to be by my side.
The first, is her honesty and sincerity. She told me the truth despite possible bad consequences in our relationship. There was one time, she told me that she happened to be sleeping in the same bed as one drunk male volunteer. She felt really bad and told me even though I have no way to verify it.
I know that there are always temptations to lie, accuse, and imagine as we don’t meet each other physically often. But I deeply trust Jesi.
Second, she cares for others. She dreams to help others. She has been nurturing a mentally disabled community in the church and helps companies in social initiatives. She thinks about others in a depth far greater than me. In the future, given the right time. God will use her to become blessings for others.
Third and the most important: I believe we can walk in God together. We are sinful and we have broken boundaries which we have set earlier in the relationship. But through these, we know we are weak. We admit our weaknesses and loneliness. And we can pray to God to fix our weaknesses and be a greater version of ourselves in His image. Without God’s help, tragedy and chaos will seep in.
We are far from the successful couple with great looks and material belongings in Instagram.
But we know we need God. That is what matters.
“Will you be my wife?”
I held her hand, nervous, and counted 1,2,3. I am pretty sure she knows about my intention but I could not seem to bring it up. I gobbled up the leftover dessert on the table in an attempt to procrastinate vainly. Then I decided to take a deep breath and say it.
“Will you be my wife”
Wait. Something is wrong. I intended it to be “Will you be my other partner in God” but as my brain stops functioning. It sounds different. I sounded desperate.
Well good thing, she just giggled. I took out the ring. She smiled expectantly and she said yes. Then I helped her wear the ring, and she told her side of the story.
All is well, All ends well
So in the end, she accepted my feelings. And within that minute we were engaged. I felt happy and alert at the same time. The engagement was definitely a new stage in the future.
But at the same time, being engaged also means to prepare for the long lasting life in the future. It is not the end, yet it is just another start for bigger challenges.
Getting engaged and married means that if God forsakes us, we will be in a deeper predicament, where marriage is broken by fear and disappointment.
“My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:30
But God makes our yoke easy and our burden light. Whoever comes to Him will gain rest.
May God be with us always where we can rest peacefully in His Glory.
Soli deo gloria
