The Worst Pie I Ever Made

Feeling: Foolish

Today was supposed to be a day of triumph…

I had decided that I was going to bake a delicious apple pie for King Offling, and I was so excited. Little did I know that the kitchen at the Stalwart Fortress would be the one place I’d find no apples!

Undeterred, I decided to make a pie out of some of the what ingredients I found in the cupboards. I combined flour, salt, and butter, to make a crust, but couldn’t find any sugar or fruits for the filling. So, instead I ventured into the pantry and found a jar of pickles.

At the time, I thought to myself that pickles are made from cucumbers and cucumbers are technically fruit. Plus, people rather enjoy cucumber sandwiches, so why wouldn’t they like a pickle pie?

I poured the mixture into a pie dish and put it in the oven. When I took it out of the oven I was so excited to finally have my pie… but it certainly didn’t look like the delicious masterpiece I had imagined. The crust was hard as a rock, the filling was lumpy and sour. Even the pickles inside had turned rubbery and gross. It was altogether too disgusting to bring to the King and I had to throw it away.

That’s how I learned the hard way that you need the right ingredients and tools to make something great. There’s no substituting the necessities, and I should have done a better job setting myself up for success.

Sincerely, Dilbert the Squire