The Decision.

If you are going to be a host family it is important to choose a student who will blend in well with your existing structure. This is a choice I feel my family didn’t make very well. My application and self writing was heavily focused around my love for art and animals and the merging of two which went hand in hand with my animal farming background. I am an outgoing person and love to interact with people and it is where I find comfort and energy.

I do not understand why you would choose a student with all of these interests and qualities and put them in an environment which offers none of them.

This is exactly what happened to me. I was so happy when I got the notice that a host family had been found for me. Their application seemed like a perfect fit and I couldn’t wait to go and meet them upon arrival to my new country. But upon arrival and within my first few weeks I quickly realised they were not like they had said they were and were the complete opposite of me. I understand there may be differences in cultures and the way a family structure works but for the family to not interact at all is not a situation I should have been put in.

Everyday as the end of school nears a pit forms in my stomach telling me that I don’t want to go home. It is a dread that occasionally makes me sick. When I finally arrive home I am left in solitude as everyone retreats to their rooms. The dread dissipates and the longing sets in. For someone to talk to. For an animal to care for. For even one of my passions to be returned to me.

I have spent nearly two months in this family trying my hardest but I still don’t fit in and I’m not treated as part of the family which is the whole point of this programme. This is partly due to the sister. She is definitely not happy I’m around and seems to despise my very existence. To top it off her mood and who is around plays a huge part in how I’m treated, which often … isn’t great.

They tried, at least that is what I will say for them. They aren’t bad people they just aren’t right for me. This doesn’t make them wrong it just makes them different and no one should feel like they are trapped and alone in a situation they are meant to enjoy.

I still fear that maybe moving will not improve my situation, that maybe my next family will be much the same. I fear that I will hurt my original families feelings by moving out. But in this situation where I have worked so hard for this I feel it is the right thing to do to avoid my misery.

I rejoice in the support that you offer me in everything I do and the power you give me to push through.

Thank you to both of my mums for all the help you have given me. Xx