Fashion is whatever you want it to be.
Growing up in a Private School network, clothing in my mind was just what its intended purpose was for; clothes to put on my back to keep me warm and not much more. I never thought clothing could make a statement or be something different, I was constantly surrounded by homogeneous uniforms everywhere I went, 5 days a week nothing would differ not even my shoes or socks. With that mentality in place, fashion was not on the forefront of my mind unless you count the time we were “inspired” by Gossip Girl and changed our uniforms to mimic those only to get into a lot of trouble and gone was that “ah-ha” fashion moment I had in school. Everyday fashion was routine I woke up and put on the same old boring plaid skirt and button up shirts that I had 20 identical items in my drawer and the same pair of black shoes that were “school-approved”. Style was definitely not the hottest item on the agenda.
As I got older though privileges were granted to us in the world of private schools and wearing uniforms. They usually came in the form of “free dress days” which essentially meant that we were allowed to wear whatever we wanted and finally display some of our personal style. Sometimes these days were granted to us in order to raise funds for charity or a select grade won a school-wide competition. These free dress days meant that it was our time to shine and show what our fashion style was really all about. However, wearing a uniform 5 days a week didn’t teach us girls a lot about style and often times girls would resort to wearing comfort attire (a.k.a sweatpants and sweatshirts) over showing their sense of style. These free dress days were definitely not a competition for the runway, though our school did try to encourage us to play with our sense of style with giving us free dress themed. Slowly girls started warming up to this idea of trying different styles.
As a child my fashion sense could be said to be close to none, as much my influences would usually come from outside sources such as school but with the area I grew up in. School didn’t act as a large tool instead I took style from my family and the magazines I was surrounded by. Being a child from private school, I couldn’t really develop my sense of style yet I always was interested in fashion due to my mom being a large influencer. My mom loved fashion and in my eyes was a very stylish lady. She always had a copy of Vogue lying around and during my time off I loved to pore over the details of the various outfits in the fashion bible. My lack of style in my personal life did not translate into real life because in certain areas of my life I was so restricted. Yet nonetheless I began to fall in love with the world of fashion and the way clothes could describe something. My love for all things fashion soon turned into an obsession and for a little while I dreamed of being a fashion designer. As I grew older the more fashion started influencing my life and I began seeing it as an outlet for who I was as a person. I began embracing the color black, statement t-shirts and for a while even camo pants (yes I know tragic). Over the years my style also evolved from where I’m living. I noticed when I was living in Toronto my style became more city chic with an emphasis on warmth and style. In California though, my style drastically shifted into what I can only identify as California style, such as flip flops being appropriate attire for almost any occasion. With my own personal style journey and evolution the line from the NPR Interview, Fear And Clothing’: A Travelogue Of America Through The Clothes We Wear really struck a chord with me. In it Cintra Wilson says:
style can either liberate you or it can enslave you — your choice.
From a young age, I let style enslave me. Through the institution that was private school and the mundane every day uniforms I let it enslave me and become a cookie cutter. I never questioned my choice of outfit what I wore and what it displayed about me as a person. Looking back I realized the judged looks I was given to wearing a uniform. I could tell those looks judged my education status and misunderstood my privilege of being in a uniform as an upper middle class child who had never known any real struggle or hadn’t known the worth of money and never worked a day in their life. Yet as I grew older I realized that style was an outlet to who I was as a person and let it help dictate my personality. I began believing in how I dress to present myself in the best way possible. Instead as I got older I realized that fashion became a way to tell the world who I was as a person and help show the world who I really was.
