Tesla’s Full Self-Parenting

Matthew Pettigrew
Feb 28 · 3 min read

A justification for Tesla’s valuation

In early 2021, Tesla surpassed the valuation of the next 13 biggest automakers combined.

Combined!

The only way to truly understand Tesla’s value is to recognize that it stands to disrupt more than just car manufacturing, but also solar panels, charging networks, trucking, software and energy storage.

However, among all these industries perhaps the most lucrative sector that Tesla is disrupting, and the driving reason for its astronomical valuation, is that of parenting.

Over the years Tesla has quietly positioned itself as the must-have parenting enhancement device of the 21st Century. With its launch of Full-Self-Driving (FSD) software, Tesla vehicles will be able to drive children to school, sports practice, sleep overs, music lessons, babysitters’, and emergency rooms.

Teslas are child-chauffeurs.

Within a few years, any parent driving a carload of noisy kids to soccer practice will be wondering to themselves: “Why haven’t I bought a Tesla yet?”.

Parents in their 30’s and 40’s are in their prime economic earning years, and chauffeuring kids to McDonalds is not a good use of their time. Countless millions of parent-hours are consumed every year in driving kids around, an experience parents would pay handsomely to avoid.

Middle-class families in western countries who are not wealthy enough to hire a full time chauffeur, but who can afford a family vehicle will see the greatest economic benefit from Tesla’s Full-Self-Parenting innovation.

By offering an alternative to the parent-chauffeur problem, Tesla is liberating captive parent time that can now be used for work, rest or socializing, potentially adding billions to the economy and improving the mental health of parents around the world.

With Tesla’s full array of internal and external cameras, the possibilities are endless:

  • Park in front of your kid’s soccer practice to make sure they’re giving 110%
  • Make sure the kids are playing nicely with others at the playground
  • Chaperone your daughter on her date

Teslas will be seen as the essential parenting enhancement, akin to an extra adult in the house who gladly shoulders parenting responsibilities. But the benefits of having an extra adult does not end with child-chauffeuring, Teslas could be a parent to adults as well.

Need to walk the dog around the block? Give the leash to your Tesla.

Need to drive your uncle to the airport at 4am? Your Tesla’s got your back.

Need to earn some extra cash on the side as an Uber driver? Your Tesla will put in the hours for you.

The life of parents is about to get a whole lot easier.

If you’re out drinking, wouldn’t it be nice if a responsible adult could drive you home? Autonomous cars eliminate the need for designated drivers. Tesla owners can drink with no automotive consequences, as drinking-and-driving laws will effectively become obsolete.

Parents with human-driven vehicles will have to remain sober on soccer practice night, while parents with Teslas will be poppin’ bottles on weekdays.

This is a game changer.

The market thinks so too. Tesla’s share price to earnings ratio peaked at over 1400x, whereas Toyota’s has averaged only 15x over the past five years. That is an insane valuation, until you realize that parents will pay luxury car prices for one simple feature: never having to answer the question: “Are we there yet?”.

Thinking of Tesla as an automaker is short-sighted and incomplete.

Thinking of Tesla as an energy-storage, software, battery tech, solar panel, trucking, taxi, charging network and self-driving AI company is also not quite there…

Tesla, at its core, is a parenting company.

And parents will pay anything to have their kids driven by someone else.

Below is the accompanying video I made for this article:

For more videos, check out my channel.

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