Can you really fall in Love on the internet?
The world has changed, and so has Love. Today, some people “fall in love easily” with pictures and voices on social media and meeting apps. I’ve always wondered if it was real love or just an illusion, so I tried Tinder!
What is love?
If you try to find the answer in Haddaway’s song, you may be more confused. Obviously, Love doesn’t have one definition. There are many kinds of Love, which is different for different people... but let’s talk about the romantic one. As in the Cambridge dictionary, this kind of love is defined as “the feeling of liking another person very much and being romantically and sexually attracted to them”.
This kind of Love is the one everybody is craving, and nobody can deny the desire or the need of being touched and feeling their body embraced by their beloved one. This is why it is really problematic talking about Digital Love in the proper Love meaning without including the physical aspect. But you may be thinking: Love doesn’t stop there, platonic or asexual lovers don’t really feel the need to be touched or to include the physical aspect in their relationship. Still, most of them think face to face interactions are more meaningful and powerful in connecting with each other.
Brain, heart, algorithms?
Many philosophers argued for centuries and centuries about whether Love followed reason or feeling. Many agree to say: “Love is an irrational feeling”. Well, it is true for most people. But there is a new debate today on if it can follow algorithmic logic? Tinder, Fruitz, Bumble, Grindr.. all of these apps use algorithms to make you meet your “perfect soul mate”. How accurate is this logic? How efficient is it?
Let’s take a closer look at some of Tinder’s statistics:
- 57 million users in 190 countries.
- 50% of them meet in real life.
- 25% sought out a serious relationship.
Tinder’s algorithms are shaped by the behaviors and habits of its users. Like all apps, it adapts to your preferences and proposes profiles that fit them. So I tried to trick the app and test its ability to adapt. For three days, I only liked athletic guys. The application started showing me only athletic guys. The next three days, I liked only guys with a higher degree. I got the same result. It also works for hair color, skin color, interests — whatever you choose. For 3 years I have been doing social experiments on Tinder and studying the profile of its users according to their city, age, interests. I didn’t find the love of my life but I found out some interesting insights regarding the functioning of the app and the mentality of its users!
Emotional comprehension requires a body
Computers and AI can’t feel love because of the lack of bodies. What makes Love alive in us are senses, hormones and chemical reactions operating between two people. As children, we wouldn’t be able to develop the same emotional bonds we have today if we hadn’t felt the warmth of the bodies picking us up and holding us.
When we have something important to say to someone, we tend to say: “we’ll talk about it face to face”. Sometimes it is even considered impolite and inappropriate to tackle serious topics by chat or call. Virtual is by definition the opposite of real. So for me, a virtual Love can never be a real Love. A Love story can start on the internet but it will never be real without face to face interactions.
Have you ever tried a dating app?
About this article
This article has been written by a student on the Grenoble Ecole de Management’s Advanced Masters in Digital Strategy Management. As part of a content creation assignment, students are given the task of writing articles based on their digital interests and disseminate the articles online. Articles are marked but we make minimal changes to the content. Thanks for reading! James Barisic, Programme Director, MS DSM.
