How to Beat the Texas Heat
Spoiler alert — get the hell out of Texas
Published in
7 min readAug 26, 2023
“The path to paradise begins in hell.”
― Dante Alighieri
Texas is hot right now, in fact, it is epically hot, some might even say biblically hot. So what do we do to try and survive this insanity? A short rundown for immediate relief from the 6th layer of hell would be the following:
- Find a pool, either a local municipality pool if you’re looking for that Caddyshack experience or rent someone else's pool
- Ice/cold plunge
- Just walk around a grocery store for hours on end
- If you’re lucky enough hang out at Barton Springs
- Eat as much Blue Bell Ice Cream until your internal temperature cools down or your die of a brain freeze, whichever comes first.
But all of these are a short-term solution to a months-long problem, the hotness lasts easily from May-October in Austin. My best advice to you would be to get on out of dodge for a while and break the 100-degree streak for a few days, allowing the brain to return to normal operating temperature. Here are my two suggestions for quick and relatively easy getaways to places much much cooler.
