Just Call Me Rain Man
The utterances of a woman trying to stay on the right
Having lived most of my life in the Southern Hemisphere in countries colonized by British rule, driving on the left was my norm for decades. After spending the last five years living in North America, driving on the right has become my new normal and surprisingly, feels right.
Michael Rhodes’ article got me to thinking about my 180 degree transformation.
It was October 2017 and I had moved myself and my sixteen-year-old kitty to Texas in the good ole US of A from the calmer shores of Western Australia.
Prior to heading over, my greatest concern about the life-changing decision was not being an immigrant again, oh no, I’d done that a few times before, — been there, done that, bought the emblazoned t-shirt. Nor was it the fact that I didn’t have a job or an income to go to — one might be forgiven for thinking that this was the biggie. It wasn’t even the fear of making new friends and fitting it. Nope! Done that before too.
My greatest concern was learning to drive on the right!
Not only was the steering wheel on the other side of the car, the mirror faced the wrong way and the signals were upside down, but at least the gas pedal was still on the right and the brake on the left. Thank the Lord for small mercies!
Upon arriving in Round Rock, Texas to stay with a friend until I got myself situated, I watched carefully as she navigated her Subaru with ease through complicated highway onramps, frontage roads (yes, they’re a thing in Texas), and turning “right on red.”
“You went through a red light,” I said, surprised that she would deliberately flout the law in a country known for scary-ass police.
As she calmly explained the North American rule that you don’t find anywhere else in the world, I fell in love with it instantly!
Five days later she was off on a business trip and I was allowed to drive her car whilst she was gone — primarily to take her highly-anxious dog to the dog park once a day.
After a few test drives with my friend before she left to get the hang of things, I slid into the driver’s seat with a little trepidation. The nearest park was only a few miles away but I’d never been out on my own. I reached down and gently slipped the automatic transition into D for drive, easing my way out into the main road that ran past the apartment complex.
As I made my way down the parkway heading for my first set of lights, a strange thing happened… I turned into Rain Man!
“Stay right! Turn left but stay right.” I crooned to myself as I navigated the roads to the park that ran alongside a river.
“Stay right! Turn left but stay right!” I repeated the phrase like a mantra falling from my lips.
For the ten minutes it took me to follow Google Maps’ directions to the park, my inner Rain Man chanted my new mantra repeatedly. I breathed a sigh of relief as I pulled the sedan into an empty parking bay and took a minute before I led Ms. Anxious towards the river.
After a few days I became very comfortable driving the short distances to the dog park and grocery store, but it wasn’t long until another dilemma presented itself.
I was going to have to face driving on the Interstate… on the wrong side of the road… in Texas… with crazy and aggressive drivers!
I had been studying to take the state exam to teach Special Education in Texas and the testing center was all the way down the I-35 — possibly one of the most terrifying Interstates in the US.
As I slid back into the driver’s seat, I centered myself, lowered the volume to The Highway on Sirius XM, and put the car in drive. Nearing the onramp to the Interstate, Rain Man made a glorious return.
“Stay right! Turn left but stay right.” I uttered as I guided the car onto the frontage road to the I-35.
I braced myself as I merged onto the busy highway.
“Keep right, pass left!” Rain Man suddenly said, changing the usual mantra to one more apt for the highway.
I can only imagine what I looked like to other drivers: a mad middle-aged woman muttering to herself as she focused on the road with more concentration than Stephen Hawking working on A Brief History of Time.
Eureka! — sorry that’s Archimedes — I managed to get myself all the way down the Interstate without incident, arriving very early to decompress before taking the four-hour exam.
Fresh off my triumphant drive to the testing center, I used my newfound confidence to head to Austin-Bergstrom International Airport to pick up a friend directly after I’d finished the exam.
In all my time in the US, I made only one error in driving on the wrong side of the road. Having bought a 2002 Ford Explorer SUV with some major heath issues from a man who looked like Jesus, I was tired and stressed as I drove her out of the mechanic’s in northern San Antonio. As I entered the deserted two-lane road I automatically pulled into the left lane until I saw a car in the distance coming straight for me. With a guardian angel on each shoulder, I managed to correct myself before any damage was done.
Thank the heavens for my inner Rain Man!
