TRAVEL

Ordering Room Service in Nigeria Is Not Easy

Sometimes even the most mundane conversation can descend into farce

The three wise men of Lagos. Photo by Amir Mortezaie on Unsplash

I used to sell milk in Nigeria. This often meant venturing outside Lagos to other cities in the country. Like Aba, the largest city and commercial center of Abia, a small state in southeastern Nigeria.

Traveling for work can be fun or dreary, depending on your perspective. New places and people, nice hotels, good food and drink on an expense account, all of this can be enjoyable.

But then, after a while all those hotel rooms start to look alike, the food is a few hasty bites between meetings and the only new places you see are the shops and open air markets.

But this was Nigeria. Even the most mundane encounter could get infused with comedy. Like the one that evening.

I had come back to my hotel after a futile day of sales calls. I was sweaty, tired, and hungry. I decided to first order in some food. Most hotels took 20 minutes to deliver. That was enough time to take a leisurely shower and wash off the grime of the fruitless day.

The number for room service was written on a laminated sheet stuck to the bedside table. I dialed the digits.