Sex and Extortion on Social Media
Being cautious and reacting quickly — your best assets.
Dear Abby,
Although we both know Santa is a real man in disguise, and the tooth fairy is actually mom and dad, there are times we want to believe in such fantasies.
This gorgeous and stunning woman, with an incredible cleavage, who has just friended you on Facebook, wants you. Ya, right!Come on! Wake up!
You thought you could be friends with that amazing woman, but then, suddenly — you still don’t know why or how it happened — you’re caught having sex on webcam. Spectacular. Bravo.
And now, here you are, being extorted, and wondering what to do, because, of course, you didn’t take the time to think about the consequences beforehand.
This (true) story can happen to any of us if we don’t take some basic precautions; so let’s start from the beginning with these four super basic pieces of advice:
Don’t friend everybody!
This is easy to say, but hard to do, I know. In case you usually friend mostly everybody, have a list of acquaintances (Facebook has a function that allows you to separate your contacts into friends, acquaintances and restricted; use it!), and don’t share all your personal stuff with them. These crappy profiles are more or less copy-pasted from one to the other and are very easy to recognize; a profile picture that is a selfie showing a little cleavage, not many friends and some pictures uploaded the day before. Always distrust when you see one of these.
Don’t give any personal details to unknown people
Personal details include such things as your family names, wife’s, husband’s or children’s names, birth date, where you live, whether you are or aren’t at home, email, other social network accounts. Talk about anything else, but never ever get too personal with a stranger.
Don’t go on cam with unknown people
Unless you are very sure your face is not on cam and there are no personal details around that could expose your real identity, don’t do anything you could regret. Always remember that these days everything stays forever and everything online is public, in a way.
Take a cold shower instead
I guess I don’t need to explain this. It’s self-explanatory.
Ok, but you are late to read this post, and you have already done whatever (you don’t need to tell us the details), and you have already received that message trying to blackmail you. You are very worried — obviously — and you don’t know what to do. Let me tell you.
Keep calm
Yes, I know it can be difficult, but you have to keep calm. In a few seconds, all your adrenaline will run to your brain and will stop you from thinking clearly. And it’s precisely this calmness that is going to give you the vision to do the things you have to do.
Check your privacy settings
Maybe you have done it already. However, it’s your chance to get back to your privacy settings everywhere and re-check them.
Very important: nobody should be able to post to your wall on Facebook. At the very least, set up the option that allows “only you” to read the posts to your wall. Also, you’ll need to enable the setting to review “all posts and things you’re tagged in” so nobody can tag you unless you check it in advance.
You’ll also need to be careful with your Twitter or other accounts; set up a search for your name, save it, and check it from time to time to avoid unpleasant surprises.
Run to the police
I understand you are ashamed, but it is essential you go to the police station to start taking legal action against your extortionists. Also, it is the only way to stop these kinds of behaviors online. Playing with yourself is not a crime, extortion is. So take all your screenshots and all the information available and get ready to explain everything. More than that, you’ll probably need to file a complaint if the criminals finally upload the video and you need to take it down.
Set up an alert
Go to Google, search your name (you can add different words to the search so it is the most accurate it can be) and set up an alert. If anyone posts anything that includes your name, you will get an email and you will be able to react immediately.
Time is on your side. No pro criminal will utilize Facebook or social networks (where everything is tracked) to extort any incautious person, and amateurs will disappear as soon as they realize you are not going to pay. It’s just a game to them.
As always, the most important thing to avoid any risk is being cautious in advance. However, if you have been dumb enough to take the bait, at least you might get out of your situation in the best of the possible ways.
