Social Media and Romantic Relationships: Dating Apps Used for Sex or a One-night Stand
INTRODUCTION
Social media has generated various degrees of social consequences in a multitude of ways. Nonetheless, such consequences could be catastrophic in which unethical and misleading values, notions, conducts, deeds have been promoted and circulated across social media.
A “digital revolution” is proceeding when it comes to courtship, dating, and romance. Far different from the older generations, single adults these days, especially those who live in a great metropolitan center, are provided with a seemingly infinite array of available romantic and sexual partners on the social networks and platforms, online, and on their smartphones.
In this essay, dating apps used for seeking sex partners and a one-night stand will be selected to be the case to examine. First, issues of dating apps used for seeking sex partners and one-night stand will be discussed in various dimensions, such as biological, physical, and ideological. Second, cultural messages regarding the prevalent type of romantic relationships nowadays, people’s value towards and behaviors of handling romantic relationships. Third, critical reflection upon the issues in connection with the premises behind the production and circulation of the issue will be analyzed at the source of the emergence of dating apps including its design and the circumstance of traditional dating methods.
ANALYSIS AND DISCUSSION
Issues that dating apps is used for sex or one-night stand
Biologically and physically speaking, using dating apps is in association with the possession of more sexual partners, conducting unprotected sexual intercourse with a greater number of sexual partners, a higher tendency of exercise irregular condom use. It illustrates that dating apps are inclined to drive their users toward risky sexual encounters. Ideologically speaking, views on romantic relationships are downplayed in the perception of users.
I. Numerous sexual partners
Dating apps are designed to provide a platform for people to be in a relationship while people misuse it as a platform looking for sexual partners, one-night stand, and hook-ups. A study illustrates that dating app users, in comparison with nonusers (individuals who do not use dating apps), had a greater tendency to build up larger numbers of relationships with sexual partners throughout their whole lives and in the previous three months. Such an idea remained after putting sociodemographic factors into consideration. Another study particularly worked on homosexual males also observed that dating app users also disclosed a significantly larger number of sexual partners throughout their entire lives and in the previous three months (Lehmiller & Ioerger, 2014). Another research examining the correlation between sexting and sexual health in university students in the U.S. showed that students who had participated in sexting had greater inclination to build up more associations with sexual partners in their lives and in the previous three months than their kinds who did not (Benotsch, Snipes, Martin & Bull, 2013). Socializing with multiple sexual partners is a dire problem due to its association with sexually transmitted disease infection, drug abuse, alcohol consumption, dating violence and unplanned pregnancy documented by plentiful studies (Cherry & Dillon, 2014; Howard & Wang, 2004; Finer, Darroch & Singh, 1999; Valois, Oeltmann, Waller & Hussey, 1999).
It is also suggested that, in comparison with nonusers, dating app users who had a using habit for a year had a greater chance to have more sexual partners in the past three months and last month. On the other hand, there was no great difference in the last 3 months and last month in terms of the number of sexual partners between nonusers and, dating app users who had a using habit for less than a year. It illustrated that using dating apps can result in a rise in terms of the number of sexual partners. Several possible explanations are as follows. Firstly, qualitative research regarding online dating conducted previously proposed that online dating websites can expand the number of individuals users encounter and sexually interact with (Couch & Liamputtong, 2008). In this sense, as shown in Figure 1, dating apps, that its features resemble online dating websites, can provide a pool of potential sexual partners for selection. In addition, as shown in Figure 2, it may further unearth precious chances for sexual encounters amongst individuals who are in distant, obscure, isolated geographic position and amongst individuals who are in desperate need for sexual partners for certain sexual practices (Poon, Ho, Wong, Wong & Lee,2005). Secondly, people nowadays bring along smartphones with them all the time, and thus it enables them to arrange casual sex anytime anywhere through dating applications. Thirdly, an online environment provides people with comfortability and mental ease to share about and discuss sex (Couch & Liamputtong, 2008; Daneback, Månsson & Ross, 2007).
The relationship between the number of sexual partners and premature sexual initiation is of consistency with that found in the U.S. (O’Donnell, O’Donnell & Stueve, 2001) and mainland China (Ma, Ono-Kihara, Cong, Xu, Pan & Zamani, 2009) and is not distinct to the population in the current research. In contrast to past studies which suggested that sexual minority teenagers had a bigger chance to possess multiple sexual partners throughout their whole lives and in the past three months, this relationship cannot be found in the study in question (Cherry & Dillon, 2014).
II. Unprotected sexual behaviours
In opposition to the findings of past studies pertinent to the use of dating apps amongst homosexual men (Grosskopf, LeVasseur & Glaser, 2014; Lehmiller & Ioerger, 2014), it is observed that, in comparison with nonusers, applications users were more inclined to happen unprotected sexual intercourse with a greater number of sexual partners, irregular condom use and absence of condom use in the last time they had sexual intercourse. Nevertheless, it is difficult to use present studies to make comparisons with the previous ones owing to the differences in study control groups, the recall period of condom use, populations, and the meaning of sexual intercourse. The targeted groups of the past studies were all homosexual. The pattern of condom use between application users and homosexual users of the Internet for dating (not dating apps) were compared by several studies (Grosskopf, LeVasseur & Glaser, 2014; Lee, Lam, Lee & Wong, 2012). It was possible that both of the above-mentioned groups shared analogous sexual practices, resulting in the consistent pattern of condom use.
The recall period of condom use in the past studies was the previous three months (Grosskopf, LeVasseur & Glaser, 2014; Lehmiller & Ioerger, 2014; Landovitz, Tseng, Weissman, Haymer, Mendenhall & Rogers, 2013). Studies in the past only had an assessment on unprotected anal intercourse while the study in question had an examination on condom use in anal, oral, and virginal intercourse. Despite the much lower risk of HIV transmission by oral sex than anal or vaginal sex, other viral and non-viral sexually transmitted diseases, for instance, herpes, syphilis, and gonorrhea can still be transmitted by oral sex (Edwards & Carne, 1998). A claim that condom use can secure the safety of oral sex is made by the National Health Service of the United Kingdom and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the United States. Oppositely, it was observed that university students in the United States engaging in sexting had a greater chance to have more unprotected vaginal and anal sexual intercourse in the previous three months than non-sexting ones (Benotsch, Snipes, Martin & Bull, 2013). Past research on heterosexual females suggested that 77% of females who encountered a sexual partner online make condom-less sexual intercourse (Chiasson, Parsons, Tesoriero, Carballo-Dieguez, Hirshfield & Remien, 2006). Some studies on homosexual males also found that looking for sexual partners online was in association with irregular condom use and unprotected anal intercourse (Grov, Parsons & Bimbi, 2007; Downing, 2012).
III. Downplayed view on romantic relationships
Romantic relationships were used to be deemed as relationships with a life-long companion but now it turns out to be a temporary pleasure that may be expected of an end from both parties. In Liquid Love, the twin impacts of social transformation and individualization have eroded the security and solidity once offered by romantic partnerships and the fabric of family (Bauman, 2003; Bauman, 2012). “Computer dating” is particularly identified as a symptom of “liquid love” in that it has changed courtship and romance into a sort of entertainment that individuals can date and “secure in the knowledge they can always return to the marketplace for another bout of shopping” (Bauman, 2003). All in all, life-long monogamous partnerships are being eroded by the proliferation of extensive ‘networks’ of romantic possibility (Bauman, 2003).
As the above-mentioned, computer dating is believed to be a symptom of “liquid love” (Bauman, 2003). His study is centered in the vulnerability of human connections in the times of prevalent consumerism, individualization and accelerated social and technological transformation. It is also argued that virtual partnerships are progressively supplanting more settled and inert relationships in real life, and that the popularized use of mediated communication is resulting in a notion that transient relationships are more preferable than life-long connections (Bauman, 2003). Dating is undergoing a transformation into entertainment, where individuals are regarded as disposable in nature as one can always “press delete” (Bauman, 2003). A work Alone Togetherthat has been recently published also includes such ideas, in that people are looking to technology for means to be in relationships and also to protect them from the insecurity in relationships and anxiety about intimacy concurrently (Turkle, 2011)
Cultural messages presented in dating apps used for sex or one-night stand
Dating apps used for sex or one-night stand implies several cultural messages, in particular relation with one’s value and self, and modern romance, courtship and partnerships. Therefore, the economization and marketization of romantic relationships and the nature and style of relationships, the mindset and calculation of both parties in relationships will be discussed below from a sociological and cultural perspective.
I. Proliferation of pure relationships
Dating apps are actively playing a role of intensifier for or a derived product of technological advancements in contraception and ideological openness of sex, love and marriage. The reasons why individuals start using dating apps to look for sexual partners or one-night stand is intrinsically on the basis of the societal development. Technological advancements in contraception unshackled sex for its close association with reproduction. In the same way, feminism fostered a fundamental change of the personal sphere. It is argued that in late modernity, romance, courtship and partnerships are progressively reflective of the “pure relationship”, an ideal kind where a sustained relationship is on the basis of emotional and sexual equality given the mutual satisfaction of both parties (Giddens, 1992). The development of a pure relationship is associated with further transformations in the personal sphere, in particular, the advent of “plastic sexuality” and “confluent love”. Plastic sexuality is defined as the more sexual freedoms offered by modern societies (Giddens, 1992). Plastic sexuality can be shaped as a characteristic of personality and thereby maintain an intrinsic relationship with the self. Concurrently, in principle, it unshackles sexuality from the control of the phallus from the inordinate significance of male sexual experience (Giddens, 1992).
On the other hand, confluent love is defined by contingent and active love and is unique from the ideal of “romantic love” in which it is not regarded as something that lasts forever but for as long as the mutually invested relationship remains. Pure relationships provide the potential for partnerships that prioritize pleasure and intimacy on top of other cultural and social concerns even though these relationships in substance have lower durability because of their contingent nature.
II. Risk aversion in romantic relationships
Dating apps promote individualism more rampantly in this day and age in a way that showing love is never reliable because users can casually turn down or stop conversation with the potential lovers anytime, resulting in self-investment to make themselves more valuable. The greater fragility of modern romance than that of older generations has been examined in The Normal Chaos of Love, in that it is argued that family life and marriage have become more vulnerable owing to expeditiously changing social values (Beck & Beck-Gemsheim, 1995). Different from older generations, individuals nowadays are faced with an array of options as a component of construction, adjustment, and development of establishing connections with others. It is suggested that the bonds of romantic partnerships are under a gradually unravelling process as people have come to realize that nothing lasts forever and aware the temporary nature of relationships, thereby being cautious of investing too much into such relationships. This “risk aversion” results in an inclination of people investing more in themselves, and in a diverse spectrum of relationships, in particular friendships.
III. Self-commodification and self-branding
Numerous perspectives are adopted to examine and analyze online and mobile dating specifically by academic studies, in that online dating profile exercises as an ideal or perfect representation of oneself; however, faced with inevitable offline interaction unveiling their facade, people had no choice but to strike a balance between their need for accurate self-presentation and desire for self-promotion (Ellison et al., 2006).
When it comes to competences of use, in particular practices of self-branding, it is analyzed that dating apps involve self-commodification and the interpolation of market dynamics in practices of self-construction (Coupland, 1996). Users have the need for engagement in self-branding activities, and amidst a crowded relationship marketplace, they market themselves as desirable commodities. This is a process of self-styliation for self-transformation (Foucault, 1988). Besides, an array of competencies and techniques are employed to forge an outstanding profile and exhibit a desirable image of the users.
It is also reported their participants adopted strategies to filter out interested targets for a face-to-face meeting through a scrutinization of images as well as interactions, and assessment of the genuineness of their potential partners prior to an engagement in sexual activities (Couch & Liamputtong, 2008). In consequence, several studies noticed that an expansion of sexual networks is attributed to the widespread use of digital technology, thereby heightening the number of casual encounters and sexual partners (Barraket & Waring, 2008; Couch & Liamputtong, 2008; Goluboff, 2015; Meenagh, 2015). It is illustrated that these dating intermediaries have been particularly significant in raising the possibility of romantic encounters for “thin markets”, for example, lesbians, bisexuals, gays, transgenders, middle-aged heterosexuals (Blackwell et al., 2015; Race, 2015; Rosenfeld & Thomas, 2012).
Critical reflections upon the issue in connection with the premises behind the production and circulation of the issues as revealed
The premises behind the production and circulation of the issues can be sourced from where it begins. To be more specific, it can be explained and reflected by the design of the dating apps which is also mentioned a little earlier in the essay, as well as the traditional way of dating prior to the advent of the dating apps.
I. Design of Dating apps
Mobile dating apps nowadays are an instrumental tool for modern romance and sexual interactions since using dating apps offers distinct experiences from using dating websites. As a matter of fact, unlike dating websites with decreasing usage, the skyrocketing usage of dating and hook-up apps is attributed to their tactile functionality and mobility. Leading dating apps like Tinder, and its many counterparts, adopt a photo-centred format designed for smartphones. Users are shown pictures of other surrounding users within accessible distance and can swipe right to “like” and left to “nope”, with mutual right swipes leading to a “match” and a chatroom for conversation. As two of the founders of Tinder, Sean Rad and Justin Mateen said, the fluid experience provided by the app is to challenge and supplant online dating websites (Stampler, 2014). Tinder was also designed to “eliminate the stress out of dating”, appearing as a kind of “game” that consumers users less emotional, time, money investment to play (Stampler, 2014). Such features of the applications present a design philosophy, in that users’ profiles are like a deck of playing cards while intimacy, love and sex are the stakes of the game. Undoubtedly, the sprouting popularity of dating apps begs questions with regards to the effects they cast on modern love, romance, courtship and sexual activity, and if they may also influence expectations and desires.
The geolocative function of many, if not all, mobile dating apps have acquired popularity as it is conducive to social, sexual and romantic interactions between nearby strangers. It is identified that the sequence and a tempo generated by the particular affordances of applications are essential to knowing users’ experience. Particularly, a fast tempo of interactions enabled by consistent connectivity, omnipresent computing, geolocative function and the messaging system was regarded as the premise of ephemeral and instantaneous relationships.
The interface design and the sequence of browsing and screening feature physical appearance as its top priority, in that profile photos and backgrounds textual self-description is foregrounded. Such a design feature was deemed as a purpose of looking for casual hook-ups.
II. Diminishing traditional way of dating
Undoubtedly, the internet has become a universal and unbeatable “social intermediary”. The role of traditional “matchmakers” has undergone a partial displacement, for example, friends, community leaders and family, as well as dating agencies and classified “lonely-hearts” columns which once performed the matching function (Ansari, 2015; Quiroz, 2013; Slater, 2013). Conventional sites and localities for encountering singles, for instance, pubs, clubs, universities, schools and workplaces, have also experienced a partial displacement as the Internet provides a common platform for individuals to meet and build up relationships with others whom they have no previous social ties (Rosenfeld and Thomas, 2012). A study conducted by the Pew Research Centre in the United States illustrates that 15% of U.S. adults have made attempt to use online dating sites or mobile dating applications (also known as “dating apps”) with this stably rising usage every year (Smith, 2016). Such a trend is even higher amongst homosexual couples as shown in a statistics that around 70% of them met their partner online instead of in person (Ansari, 2015; Rosenfeld and Thomas, 2012).
CONCLUSION
Dating apps are universally employed nowadays by the current generation thanks to twin reasons. First, the majority of people only possess a small social circle and few choices of potential romantic partners. Second, with the advancement of technology, dating apps are regarded as a new form and way of romantic encounters. Third, people are having a habit of accomplishing all their daily needs online, let alone looking for their significant one. Third, the functions and designs of dating applications outplay the tradition methods of find the significant one. Nevertheless, being in a relationship through dating apps may result in direly negative consequences. Some of the impacts are irreversible and lead to life-long destruction to oneself.
Deceptive behaviors happen in most occasions on dating apps as quite a few users to adopt some techniques to fake a more attractive and beautiful physical appearance than in the reality to draw others’ attention. Despite the claim of dating companies that accurate matching algorithms resides in the apps, none of their algorithms has ever been disclosed owing to the so-called “trade secretes”. In other words, such algorithms are groundless with no proof.
Besides, most of the users of dating apps are seeking temporary relationships as they are at ease in the virtual world. Users maintain a higher expectations prior to the meeting with their match because of the ideal image shaped by their match. Thus, when deviation or difference occurs in face-to-face meeting, breaking up probably is the only tragic result of the unstable relationships.
Dating apps for sex and one-night stand also leads to a more disposable relationships because people may come up with an idea that they do not have to settle the unsatisfying marriage when problems happen with the spouses. Specifically, a large number of users are married people who seek for casual sex partners. Casual sex can result in sexually transmitted diseases, and thus emotional depression and psychological stigma are brought to victims.
All the above-mentioned issues shed light on several cultural messages, such asproliferation of pure relationships, risk aversion in romantic relationships and self-commodification and self-branding. Firstly, people may prefer a short-term relationship with temporary pleasure joy to a life-long committed romance. Secondly, people distrust the brightness of romantic relationship, calculate the reward and contribution of it and come to a conclusion that they would rather invest in themselves. Third, stage before being in a relationship seems to be marketed and economic as well. All these messages signify a change of mindset between generations.
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