Introvert’s Guide to Being a Digital Nomad

An introvert, not into traveling much, but nevertheless would like to try out this digital nomad thing everyone is talking about.

Houses are just houses, some nice views, a castle of a long dead whatnot always on a hill, churches, a lot of churches, look at this modern architecture, thick ancient buildings, some food, other kind of blue sea, some great seafood, street food. No sea at all. Now narrow streets, old wooden buildings, canals. See the hills, go up and down on a cable car, now no mountains at all. Flat land, so boringly flat. Museums with dusty exhibits, realism, impressionism, white airy concrete galleries, bars, cafes. Here another air-conditioned hotel room almost identical to the last one in some other city and that same continental breakfast with the awful black fuel they call coffee which makes you feel like you have already been here. Already seen it. Already done it. I call that coffee a depression in a cup. Well.. No.. I actually don’t, but it feels like I should.

You get the picture. I’m not into globetrotting. I’m puzzled by it, because it seems to be something everyone is enjoying. I just feel disturbingly disconnected when I travel. But sometimes I need to get away. So I spent a month alone on the run. Working far away from the office, home and my people. Working, so I wouldn’t feel detached and useless.

I figured if I switched the space I inhabited and kept everything else more or less the same, I could feel more like a local and get under the skin of the city I was in.

How to Pick Destinations?

Weather is always a good criteria. I was tired of the never ending autumnal drag that had already lasted for 5 months here in Estonia. So I wanted to go somewhere warmer, sunnier, but not to go very far away, because time wasted traveling increases the time to recover from it. I know I get bored in one destination after a week, so picking a city with good transportation connections to other places is a must then.

As I have a tendency to sulk alone when possible, I decided to start from a city I have a remote colleague in. It’s good to have a local friend with whom you can hang out, who can show you cool places and will do bar hopping with you.

The cost of living, general safety and good internet connection are definitely things to consider — Nomad List, Teleport and Numbeo are great resources to help making the choice based on these criteria.

Where to Live?

A colleague once described to me that staying in a hotel for a week made him feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Trapped and living the same day over and over again. It’s a quite fitting comparison. Staying few days in a sterile bedroom is ok, but in the long run it makes you feel just sad. Thank god for Airbnb and Couchsurfing (yeah, I’m a paranoid introvert, not doing that, but it doesn’t mean you couldn’t)! A kitchen and some normal mess is required to feel at home. Washing machine is also a plus when you travel with minimal baggage.

In cities where I knew I had a friend who I could meet or where I had to stay longer, I rented the whole apartment for myself. But in places where I had no one I knew, I preferred to rent a single room — this saves money and it usually meant there was someone else in the apartment to whom I had to talk to — another way to avoid lonerism.

Where to Work?

Working from a cafe for a few days is ok, if you have located one with a good internet and don’t have to make calls or have a meeting in Hangouts/Skype. But working in a coworking space is so much nicer. Although it may be a bit more expensive, you can have peace and quiet, mostly very good internet access and like-minded people. These places have usually a good international vibe, so you definitely have someone speaking English there.

You can find a suitable coworking spaces for your destination from Desk Surfing, ShareDesk, Copass. When selecting a place to work, you should also check the homepage, twitter account and facebook page of the space. Some of those spaces offer cool workshops, networking events and have overall better startup vibe than others. Also contacting the coworking space early on is a good idea, to see if they have room for you and what kind of prices they offer when you stay for a week or so. The places have different policies for welcoming new people, you may need to book a time to get access to the space.

How to Get into the Rhythm?

To feel at home, the trick is to build a routine for yourself. From the first day. What I like to do is go running on the first morning. A great way to get to know the neighbourhood, stay fit and pump up those endorphins. Any kind of regular exercise is recommended.

It seems to be a good idea to move to the next city during the weekend. You can do the sightseeing, have time to settle in, find the apartment and get acquainted with surroundings during the first days. Get over with the stress and fatigue of being in a new strange place, so you can be productive during the working days.

Buy food and cook yourself a healthy dinner once in a while, but don’t forget to eat outside at times. Take care of yourself. That’s about it.

How to Meet People?

This is something I did not do much. I didn’t exactly go out to get any new friends. I hanged out with an awesome colleague and spent time with a great old friend, but didn’t socialize much besides that. Nevertheless if I really really would have wanted to I would have found some networking event from my coworking space, Meetup or gotten myself into awkward conversations at a Couchsurfing get-togethers. There are probably a lot of events for expats and digital nomads all over the world, you just have to google a bit to find those.

If you have a friend of a friend (of a friend) living somewhere nearby, arrange a meeting with them. Or better yet — an actual friend or a colleague. Meet them! They probably know much more of the local life than you and are comfortable introducing you to their friends and acquaintance. I call those people gateway friends. They give an opportunity to get into the local life much faster than anything else. And before you know it it’s late Wednesday evening and you are hanging in a small bar, a bit drunk, chatting to a mountain of man, who owns the place, about his dear mini-schnauzer and you think, this is all so weird, you are so weird, I want more of this, I want to know these odd people! And this is my problem! I want to know those people, not just to be passing by.

What Did I Learn?

It’s a good training for being more self-dependent. As an introvert, I avoid speaking with strangers whenever possible. I’m not very keen on asking for help even from people I know very well. But when traveling in a foreign country, there will definitely be situations where the only possible solution is to ask for help. It’s quite amazing how sympathetic and polite total strangers can be. And it’s always a confidence boost, when you get positive reaction from a local.

I also learned that the language barrier is the most tiring barrier. When you live in a country, where the majority of people you have to deal with have no understanding of the languages you speak, you keep feeling bad for being misunderstood. Very demotivating. So I started to avoid places where I knew I had to face that problem. Or when confronted with that barrier I found out that I had the weird tendency to opt for whisper instead of trying to make myself clear in a loud and demanding voice. In the end I just waved my hands semi-confidently if I wanted something. Then if further inquiries were made, I smiled and nodded. Smile and nod — that works 80% of the time.

The hard part is to stay connected. It’s really easy to stay anonymous in a foreign land. I’m not sure why, but the fact that you are no one there between all those people who have these connections with each other, with the city, the country, the culture, is very comforting. Anonymity is like a warm blanket you can wrap around yourself. There’s no pressure, no duties, no baggage. But it’s also very easy to be forgotten and replaced. When you actually want to have someone to connect with when you go back home, you have to keep in touch. With your family, best friends and closer colleagues. Relationships don’t need you. You need them. So value those you want to keep.

There’s actually so little what is needed when traveling. All those clothes, shoes and cosmetics that fill closets at home. I really don’t need those. Just nice to have. Travel with hand luggage. It’s liberating. And much faster.

Would I Do it Again?

All in all, working from abroad is no problem. Just the traveling part has to make sense. It seems pointless to travel just for the sake of seeing places. You get so much more out of the foreign country, culture and people when you actually have a role in that place. Getting a role, making a difference and being needed by people that surround you is not as easy as that. It takes time and effort. Although sometimes, yeah, it’s just good to be away and anonymous.

I like where I am. I have a role here and chances to make a difference. Seems like it’s regarded stupid not wanting to live or work abroad. But I just have to face the fact, I don’t like it much. I’m not saying I won’t do it again, it’s just I’m attached to the people surrounding me, too dependent on being able to express myself in my own language.

Originally published at blog.teamweek.com on April 14, 2015.