Cyber bullied

Bullying has been an issue in our society for many years and has affected boys and girls all around the world. Everyone has been or will be a victim of bullying at some point in life and I find that to be unacceptable. I know what you’re thinking, how would i know what it would feel like to be bullied. I’m going to tell you my bullying story.

I am no one special. I have a nice family, good friends and a great school. My school teaches us about bullying and how it affects people. Even with the bullying lessons and the stories, some people just don’t learn. I had gotten into a fight between me and a group of some of my best friends, or at least I thought they were my friends. Hurt feelings lead to broken hearts and broken hearts lead to people making mistakes and doing and saying things that we did not mean. It felt like I was in world war three and instead of people being shot, my heart was shot. People turned against me and my friend, they fired death stares at us, and my best friend became depressed. She ended up not wanting go to school and wanting to cry all the time and even though I wanted to be the tough one who didn’t care about what people thought, I was extremely hurt.

Then, hell broke out last summer. I knew that people were talking about me behind my back and I knew that a lot of people didn’t like me, but this came by complete and utter surprise. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had gotten this anonymous questioning app called kiwi because my friends had gotten it and I thought hey, why not? So, I was on my ipod and I get a notification from kiwi saying that someone had asked me a question. My first reaction was great! someone asked me a question i’m so excited. Then I read the question. “You are so ugly. I rather be blind than see your face.” I was crushed and confused which led to me answering back “thanks hun.” I laughed it off for a while. These comments kept showing up sometimes every other day saying things from the b word all the way to trying to tell me about what I should and shouldn’t do because they thought that I would change because of the mean things they said about me. Once they even said that if I changed the way I look, I would at least look ok. I was called ugly many times and was told that I dressed so ugly because I was goth. I had people even telling me that I was sending myself those questions and calling me an attention seeker. They did everything they could to try and make me feel miserable and they succeeded.

I remember crying myself to sleep almost every night because of what they said. Sometimes I looked in the mirror and thought “Maybe they were right i’m just ugly and worthless”. Yes, I know what your thinking. Why didn’t I just delete the app or block the users. Here’s the thing, when you are being bullied online, it becomes an addiction to see what they will say next. You become addicted to the comments because you think you can take it, but in reality, you can’t. You tell your friends that you are ok because you don’t want them to worry or because you don’t want them to know that you are in pain. You try to act strong, when really what you’re doing is just tearing yourself apart.

The mean comments stopped and I became friends again with the people I was in a fight with. I started to feel better and started to gain self confidence. I made some really good friends and have a really supportive friend group. But, through all of this chaos and rude comments and bullying, I did learn one thing. Happiness. I learned that if you are not happy with yourself and what you have, what is the point of existence? The whole point of this story was to let people know that bullying can happen to anyone and can affect you greatly. If you are ever bullied you should tell a teacher or parent and you should, no matter how hard it is, block that person. Lastly, you are not alone, no matter how alone you may feel, you are not alone. And that will never change.