Bait and Switch
Toddlers would make excellent used car salesmen
Toddlers are smart, conniving, clever, cutthroat little buggers. Once toddlers reach that phase — some call it “Terrible Twos,” others call it “Threenagers” — everything becomes a negotiation, a negotiation they are determined to win. Not only are they persistent, they have a surprising, intuitive mastery of the most effective, tried-and-true negotiation tactics known to man.
If you want a master class in negotiation, just look at a toddler’s behavior during bedtime, when they will do almost anything to delay sleep. Here’s a few examples:
Negotiation Tactic #1: Outlast your opponent
In a negotiation, simply wearing your opponent down until they acquiesce to your terms can be an extremely effective tactic.
Human beings are slow and not very agile (unlike a cheetah). Yet, our primitive ancestors were still effective hunters because what we lacked in speed, we made up with stamina. Anthropologists call this “persistence hunting.” We may not have been able to chase down a deer, but we kept pursuing it until it simply gave up and lay down from exhaustion. Likewise, outlasting your adversary until he taps out can be equally successful.
When buying a car, a sales rep will initially assure you that “I’ll have you driving out of here in an hour tops.” Three hours later, you’re still stuck in F&I. Savvy car salesmen know that the longer they keep you there, the more impatient and tired you will get, which means you’re more likely to make concessions just to get the hell out of there. “$200 for VIN Etching? Fine, just hurry up!”
At the end of the day when parents are exhausted (and care more about getting the child to bed than the toddler herself), this tactic is extremely effective:
Me: “Maya — only 3 books today.”
Maya: “No, 4 books.”
Me:“Only 3.”
Maya: “Only 4.”
Me: “3.”
Maya: “4.”
Me: “3.”
Maya: “4.”
Me: “Ok 4.”
Technique #2: Moving the Goalposts
“Moving the goalposts,” a classic technique used by salesmen and politicians alike, is another staple in the toddler’s negotiation toolkit.
What does “moving the goalposts” mean, you ask? Well, check out this Dilbert strip:
Maya is an expert at moving the goalposts.
Me: “Ok Maya, you get two books and two stories, and then it’s sleepy time.”
Maya: “Ok.”
<After reading two books>
Maya:“One more book.”
Me: “Fine, but only one story then.”
Maya: “Ok.”
<After reading the 3rd book and telling her one story>
Maya: “One more story.”
Me (thinking to myself): “FML”
Technique #3: Bait and Switch
The all time classic (and most reviled) car salesman technique is the “bait and switch.” The stereotypical example:
Buyer: “I’m interested in the blue Accord.”
Salesman: “Excellent, let me go draw up the paperwork for you.”<Salesman disappears for 10 minutes>
Salesman returns: “I have great news for you. I don’t have the blue, but I can cut you a special deal on the white” (…by the way, it has chrome wheels, premium audio, and $10K worth of upgrades that you didn’t ask for.)
Maya pulled a brilliant bait and switch the other day. It was so brilliant that I could only tip my cap and acknowledge her win. She likes to hear stories right before going to bed (and by stories, I mean play-by-play replays of her day), so we agreed to two stories: school and her trip to the mall. After telling her the story about school, she said she wanted stories about the park and the mall.
No you didn’t!
Like Steve Jobs, her reality distortion field was so strong that her conviction on this was unwavering. By maintaining 100% confidence and keeping the second story (“the mall”) consistent, she cleverly introduced the potential for doubt (“Hmm…maybe I misheard”) before I snapped back to reality.
Me: “Maya — you asked for school and mall.”
Maya: “Park and mall.”
Me: “Well played.”
Who needs the “Art of the Deal” when you have have toddlers? :)
If you enjoyed this read, give it some love with a clap
>> Find my other content at DigitalDad
>> Tell your friends by sharing this story on Facebook or Twitter
