When age is just a number
The people of France recently got a new President. And the world a fascinating and rather unique story of love.
Emmanuel Macron, at 39, is the youngest person to hold the French President’s office. However, what is grabbing most eyeballs, especially in the interwebs, is his decade old marriage to Brigitte Trogneux, a woman 24 years his senior and his teacher who he met when he was all of 15.
And it gets even more bizarre. Two of Macron’s step-children are elder to him — one of the girls was his classmate, and unsurprisingly, his peers at that time believed he was romantically involved with the daughter. Cue for this evergreen song.
This is not the first time such an age-gap has surfaced in a relationship. Ashton Kutcher famously broke this barrier when he married a 15 years older Demi Moore. Closer home, Saif Ali Khan leaped over a 13 year chasm to marry Amrita Singh. Both these marriages, unfortunately, did not last with both gentlemen going to marry female co-stars who fell on the more “socially accepted” side of the age divide.
However, Tinsel-town stories are often discounted by the masses as part of a lifestyle alien to ‘normal’ people. Macron’s case presents a departure because he is a revered statesman who the French people want to look up to. It could be too soon to interpret this as a change in the common outlook towards relationships because firstly, we can’t isolate the impact of Macron’s personal life on his campaign, and also because the French have been known as amorous trend-setters [needs citation!].
So high is the need for society to define the acceptable age gap in romantic relationships that someone came up with a formula for it.
You must not enter into a relationship with anyone younger than half your age, plus seven.
This also proves how age gap is not perceived in terms of absolutes but as a percentage. So, an unacceptable age gap could turn valid if one is patient and waits. Brigitte and Macron didn’t. In their defence, Brigitte would have had to wait till she turned 62.
The acceptable order of the male choosing a younger female partner, and vice versa, stems from the survival instinct — older man being a better provider and a younger female more capable of healthy child bearing.
The “provider” dynamic has undergone a shift with women entering the workforce and separating financial and emotional dependence, and also the lack of linearity of financial security to age especially in some professions. The ticking time bomb of a female’s fertility is still a reality in most cultures, but losing its prominence in societies where people are leaning towards the 0 to 1 kid mindset. Breakthroughs in medical science have helped, as ex Miss World Diana Hayden exhibited recently.
One can debate endlessly on what is acceptable and what isn’t. More so, it remains to question whether society has any moral pulpit to stand on and judge anyone for such choices.
On a lighter note, however, Macron’s case opens up a whole new perspective on student-teacher puppy crushes — something that has been an innocuous side subject in many a movies. Nandita Das from the movie Rockford comes to mind. Even if some smitten student goes on to express their affection to their teacher, the teacher usually laughs it off and might even say they love them back too. It’s supposed to harmlessly end there, right?
No one ever questions back, “You mean love love?”. Good ol’ Macron likely did.
Mr. President, take a bow.
P.S. If you haven’t seen it already, watch the 2007 flick Cheeni Kum — the most sensible and entertaining depiction of a relationship between a man of 64 and a woman of 34. The movie also contrasts this with playfully romantic banter between the 64 year old Bachchan and a terminally ill 10-year old girl nicknamed Sexy. The movie is a delightful representation of how love can come in any form.
