Where there’s a bill…
… there is a way (to split it)
I work for a company that helps people discover places to eat (along with a host of related services). Needless to say, our dining out experiences form a larger part of our water-cooler and lunch conversations than they would in any other work space.
It was in such a conversation that we began discussing the quirky things that one encounters when the cheque arrives in a restaurant.
The bill at the end of a meal has been a bone of contention for many. In his book titled SeinLanguage, Jerry Seinfeld talks about the bewilderment that is the meal cheque:
Before you eat money has no value. … You’re like the ruler of an empire. “More drinks, appetizers, quickly, quickly! It will be the greatest meal of our lives.”
Then after the meal, … the check comes at that moment. People are always upset, you know. They’re mystified by the check. “What is this? How could this be?” They start passing it around the table, “Does this look right to you? We’re not hungry now. Why are we buying all this food?!”
The size of the cheque is at the centre of attention from the word go. We all have days when we read the menu right to left, or see if the restaurant they plan to visit has special offers running that day, or order a horde of drinks before happy hour ends and ending up way more drunk than they intended to be.
Who pays?
The answer to this question varies so widely across cultures, dining situations and with the participants of the meal that many people like to call it out upfront. It’s like calling shotgun except that, on this occasion, people are listening.
“Let’s go dutch!”, they’ll say, unless they are Dutch, in which case they just say, “Betaal voor jezelf”. Or a generous friend or person in authority will announce that they will foot the bill. Going Dutch also has multiple connotations — it could mean splitting the bill equally or letting each one pay for themselves. Jeez, this keeps getting tougher.
When it comes to romantic meals, the payer decision doubles up as an indication of the likelihood of a second date. Also each time, it acts as a double edged sword for the guy who offers to pay — he’s either labelled chivalrous for his gesture OR chauvinistic for assuming the girl would want him to. 💁
Game Theory
In situations where a party has agreed to go dutch, each player has the incentive to order more and pay less. Let’s see this in detail with an example.
Five rational (and hungry) friends go dutch for a meal. Everyone’s had their one dish and one drink quota, enough to satiate their hunger. But of course, settling for ‘enough’ beats the whole point of going out.
Then, player A ends up ordering another drink (which also turns out to be the second most expensive drink on the menu).
At this point, player C (who is the only one not busy looking at his phone) his bill just went up by a fifth of the price of the drink, and he got nothing in return.
He makes the only possible rational decision — order a drink for himself too.
By now the ruse is up, and each player has acknowledged the existence of the game. So, every one orders another drink — one that none of them wanted in the first place.
Let’s all lose because we can’t let one of us win.
The equations for this go berserk when you throw teetotallers in a mix of alcoholics or vegetarians in a group of meat eaters. Start questioning how to split taxes and tips, and this could be tougher than landing on Mars.
And as I would realize in the stage of life I find myself in, couples hanging out with a bunch of singles presents another predicament — is the couple a single entity or both the people individuals, when it comes to splitting the bill? Evidence would suggest that the answer is grey.
Yet, there is one thing we can be sure of. With the web of cultural propriety, the facade of mutual respect, reluctance in having slightly uncomfortable conversations, the awkward dance of paying the food bill is here to stay.
It’s the weekend. Are you in the midst of such a quandary too?
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