Direct Mail: Being Friendly vs. “Friendly”
Hey Marilyn,
I think I’m friendly. I know you would likely agree with that knowing me as well as you do. Right?
Putting aside, of course, any of my previous awkward social moments (ie. once leaving a party at your place less than 20 minutes after arriving, ಠ_ಠ). There are plenty more.
I got to thinking about your letter to me on “the other side of unrequited love” recently — in a whole other light.
So, I can relate to being the object of someone’s affections at a couple points in my life. I’m no male model. I’d like to think I’m maybe moderately attractive (perhaps more once you get to know me, see, there’s the whole friendly thing). I mention this because I’m sure those women who had a thing for me, may have mistaken my friendly side for flirting. (Drop-dead handsome men probably have this problem too. I don’t want to discount that they also can be just friendly.)
Lately—especially since I work from home and my social interactions are limited—I have taken to talking to strangers. Not all the time (see: ಠ_ಠ above). But, being friendly, I do on occasion. Often, when my toddler and I are out (at the playground, at daycare, stores, etc.), I make small talk or chitchat with other parents who are possible “playdate material.”
Here’s where this all comes to a head. Sorry for taking this long.
Being the at-home parent, I’m the one most often out with our daughter. Being a man in a traditionally-female world (though Lego’s new goateed dad with stroller toy and tons of statistics will show it’s not as uncommon as you think), I find myself not wanting to be mistaken as “the creepy dad.”
☞ Have you encountered “creepy dads” in your span as a mom? In the wild?
It was one thing when I was a single, nerdy dude in college or whenever. But now, I don’t want it to reflect badly upon (or effect the social life of) my child, and certainly not wifey!
I feel like Eugenia touched upon this tangentially in her letter, too: the fine line between being friendly and being… “friendly.”
I ultimately know: I have no control over how other people perceive me. And how I look is neither here nor there when it comes to social interaction. I suppose I just don’t want people to think I’m all up on them when I am not. (I’ve had PLENTY of those times.) Who knows?
Thanks for listening. Happy belated! Games: soon.
P.S. — Love to hubby and the hipster-hair boys. (New band name.)
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