Hey, can I borrow a screwdriver?
Today’s prompt is a bit of blatant clickbait, written around a suspect piece of research sponsored by Alarm.com, and recently published in the New York Post: Millennial dads have pathetic DIY skills compared to baby boomers
Are dads’ essential DIY skills in decline? According to new research, millennial dads are less capable than their own dads when it comes to everyday DIY fixes, preferring to rely on professionals.
Needless to say, we took the bait and tossed it around on Slack, like cats with a ball of yarn:
Eric Pakurar (Pak, from here on out): This is the key quote: “Today’s time-pressed dads are quick to master new tools like apps and mobile technology for their families’ benefit. They’re also more likely to outsource time-consuming home maintenance to professionals who have the tools and training to get the job done right — a handy trade-off that enables today’s dads to spend more time with the people they love”
Henry Monsell (Henry): I’d love to know who actually wrote it — I wonder if this was written by a baby boomer?
Laura Pearlstein Mills (LPM): What I was struck by is the fact that because Millennial dads are less inclined to buy homes, own cars, etc. they haven’t HAD to learn any of these skills.
Pak: Yes, for sure. Also, they’re making a call that DIY for manual things is different than DIY for tech things. Not sure that’s completely true.
Blake Crist (Blake): @LPM — that’s where my head went too. Add that to the fact that Millennials are more likely to live in cities (is this even true or has it just been repeated so much we all buy it?) and along with that often comes less space or maintenance built into your rent
Henry: Is this what each generation says… I wonder what the Silent Generation have said about Baby Boomers and their handy skills.
Chris Sheehy (Sheehy): I think also that this article factors in Dads that can afford to call in professionals if they choose to spend their time in other ways.
Pak: Yeah, are they accounting for economic status? Though they can still make the point, though, if some less-affluent dad is asking his neighbor for help or they’re sharing things.
Sumner Payne (Sumner): Well, I also think it’s about what they were taught growing up — Boomers were taught more practical skills, functional skills that would be useful in real life scenarios. I think more millennials put the thrust of their efforts towards mastering different kind of skills — their aspirations were simply different (i.e., learning how to code, getting more liberal artsy-type degrees instead of directly vocational training).
I also think it has to do with how the definition of masculinity has changed. “Handiness” and be the “fix it” guy used to be something that meant you were able and strong and not afraid (to kill the bugs, to stick your hand down the drain, etc).
LPM: Women are more empowered to feel they can/should have some of these skills themselves.
Blake: Or with Millennials spending more time living with each other, there’s no need for everyone to OWN a drill. I can borrow or rent one.
Pak: I bet there’s a lot of tool sharing going on
Blake: Who needs 5 cordless drills for one apartment?
Sumner: I also think it’s interesting that a) they pointed out that millennial dads are better with the tech stuff…..but b) a major barrier/challenge is that household appliances/work has simply gotten “techier.” If they are better at mastering technology, then why should the “tech-ness” of homes today be a problem for them?
Henry: Of course there is truth in it, but it’s written as a negative and I believe we’re all getting at the fact that society/needs etc have significantly changed.
Blake: Definitely negative, especially with how The NY Post is teeing it up with that headline
LPM: Yeah the clickbaity nature of it bothered me
Henry: Do we think millennials care when they’re told they’re bad at DIY? I can’t imagine they do.
Blake: I think Millennials are used to being told they’re not great at things or that they’re ruining the world. Old news.
Sumner: I think Boomers were just taught more practical skills in life…millennials also have no idea how to handle taxes and other “adulting” things…that’s why “adulting” and self-deprecating memes about it are everywhere.
Blake: or have no problem spending a little $ if it frees up time to do something we consider more valuable
Sheehy: I have to say, it’s super convenient being married to someone who does a lot of this stuff. A former Eagle Scout, no less! But he likes doing it. He doesn’t like doing technology computer stuff so he hires someone to do that stuff. It’s about choice. If it’s worth it to you to pay someone to do stuff you don’t want to do or don’t have the skills to do.
Sumner: Kids today (starting with Millennials) grew up doing fewer chores. We were cradled and coddled and parents focused on “child development” extracurriculars. Boomers and older parents all understand the UGH that came with having to do a bunch of household chores when they were younger.
Pak: Oh that’s interesting— the effect of helicopter parents on these now-helpless dads.
Henry: With YouTube, you can work a lot of stuff out. IF you have the tools. Plus, sometimes you want to learn but why learn on your own home, make a mistake and pay more to fix it.
Sumner: I also think the convenience factor — you used to HAVE to fix stuff, but now you don’t. The 24/7, always-on work culture — we are working much longer hours and just much more in general than other generations. Millennial dads may simply have less time to deal with fixing the shower. It’s so easy to call task rabbit to get it done.
LPM: It’s all googleable — “how do I file an insurance claim?” “how do I hang a picture?”
Pak: My wife, who is an administrator in a school, is constantly thinking about the role of a school, when everything is google-able. It’s about how to think, not memorizing facts. That’s the defining need for the adults of tomorrow (and today too, for that matter).
Sumner: The masculinity factor is maybe not something you can prove, but certainly important. Guys today don’t have to “fix stuff” to feel like a man.
Henry: Not knowing how to file your taxes to me is much much worse than not being able to put a shelf up.
Blake: Or is “being a man” showing that you have the $$$ to bring someone else in to do it for you?
LPM: Do we CARE? Like, we’re also not as racist as we used to be, and not as sexist, and we care about the environment more, so who cares if we’re not handy?
Sumner: I think parents are part of the problem. We always joke about and almost brag about being totally incapable at “adulting”. Parents AND the nature of education has changed—less practical real life skills that are maybe less glamorous, more emphasis on big lofty goals for careers, etc
Sheehy: I guess. But Sumner’s point I think was that parents thought something else (enrichment, education) was more important than unclogging a toilet or opening pickle jars or whatever. Does that make them bad guys?
Sumner: I don’t think so. We don’t live in an industrial age — the skills needed to succeed are less mechanical, more knowledge related. In an information age, knowledge is what is required to succeed — not physical skills
LPM: It goes back to Maslow— technology now covers off the bottom of the pyramid so we can focus on the top parts of it.
Sheehy: Okay, speaking of which… I’m off to hang a painting! And whittle a bookshelf!
LPM: I’m going to go self-actualize myself!
