The word ‘ally’ is very new to me

In this piece, I’m gonna discuss about how my thought process is like every time I learned something new from the English speaking world. And yes, exactly how the title suggests, I only learned the word ‘ally’ a few years back and still find myself mispronouncing the word when I had to use it. I never heard the word ‘advocate’ either and I never knew about the concept of ‘advocacy’ until I googled what it meant and understood what it refers to.

In my first language, there is only one standard pronoun to refer to a person and no assigned name to describe most actions, including ones that make up ‘advocacy’, and I still find myself taking pauses to process all these differences through what I believe is called ‘advocacy’ for disability.

My thought process still follows the first language I grow up with and English, though a very beautiful language that comes with countless adjectives that facilitate the exchange of communications, which I too have used more comfortably nowadays especially in the professional context or to describe my thoughts better, there are some structures and focus that are still very new to me, such as ‘allyship’.

I believe it’s worth including the part of my life where I grew up in a place where there was no concept of discrimination. The public schools that I went to through primary to secondary, kids were friends with everyone and no one was superior to another. We had about 10 classes per year and roughly 40 students in one class. There wasn’t a concept of popularity contest either. There was no popular kid and everyone was friends with everyone during recess and sports and after-school hangouts. And it was the norm I was and still am used to when I am trying to understand situations I have come across before but understood in a different way.

There was a student with Down Syndrome with us during my second year of my secondary school, and he was a year younger. When he joined in, not many of us had the prior exposure and understanding on how we could support him. He had friends from the same class who explained about his condition to kids from other classes who saw him on his first day. I was among the other kids who never saw someone with Down Syndrome in particular, in person and had very little exposure to what it entails. I barely interacted with him because I didn’t know how to and I was still learning every time I saw him pass by.

There was a day that he was walking alone like he was already used to, and I saw him walking around the tables in the canteen. He was picking up the leftover food that was on the plates left on the tables after recess. I stood from where I was standing, frozen and stuck at thinking and being completely useless. I was afraid if he got upset if I came closer and stopped him from eating the food scrapes and I didn’t want to upset him, and I didn’t have any money with me to buy fresh food for him, so I just stood there mentally testing how different scenarios would play out before I could take action.

Overtime, there were more students being around him and telling each other to look after him, and only then, I understood what I could do the next time to look after him the right way when it was needed.

The way that some of us ultimately learned how to look after him was action-led and action-focused. There was never an assigned noun that was used to call ones who look after him. The teachers and students were teaching the rest of us who were very foreign and clueless on what to do and what not to do through demonstrations and words that describe the actions we could take to better support and protect him.

The sentiment that follows a person or a group of people looking after the needs of a disabled person was never planted in my head, and still a new concept I am taking my time to learn and wrap my head around. The concept was never there before for me, and it’s taken me some time to adjust to the discourse and all the sentiments that follow the word ‘ally’ that weren’t supposed to happen for how much it keeps taking the focus away from the actions needed to provide better care and support for disabled people when needed.