“The First Thing We Do, Let’s Kill All The Lawyers” Has Never Been More Relevant
Shakespeare’s quote from Henry VI, Part II, is poetic hyperbole, but comes to mind after reading “accept our terms” agreements.
May I have a show of hands of anyone who has read Apple’s terms of agreement before clicking “accept”? Anyone? Thought so. I am not advocating violence or murder. However, this famous quote came to mind when I was asked to sign another ten-page online terms of service (TOS) agreement. No one, and I mean no one, reads these things. I am not an attorney, but I bet none of them read them either.
I’ll go a step further and guess that a lawyer didn’t even write these ridiculous contracts. Rather, they must have assigned it to a paralegal or a new associate at the firm who dreams of becoming a partner. I have been told, but since I don’t read them, I cannot confirm, that there is language buried in them that even protects the company from liability in case they forgot anything!
You might think that someone would sue a company that requires reading, much less understanding, these agreements, for being excessive and unreasonable. Some people have tried—and lost. The courts have consistently ruled that the burden is on the consumer to read and understand what they are signing or agreeing to. This is no surprise since the “courts” are made up of…you guessed it…lawyers.
It makes sense only in the absurd world of contract law. Most people agree that “click to agree” contracts are untenable, as reasonable individuals often lack the time and legal knowledge to understand what they are accepting fully. In the modern world of ultra-fast web searching and activity, it is impractical to take the time to read and understand this legal jargon.
When you see a doctor, you may be asked to sign a mandatory arbitration agreement, but it will likely be a concise document, not dozens of pages of legalese. Only in a world where lawyers have taken over most aspects of our commercial lives does this make any sense. These contracts are primarily designed to protect corporations rather than consumers.
I would like to see all of this simplified. After all, when I visit a website, I usually have the option to either accept or reject its use of cookies to track me. (I always click 'reject.') I am not saying TOS contracts can be this simple, but can’t someone successfully argue that forcing us to use a service with dozens of TOS pages is cruel, unreasonable, and should be unenforceable?
I doubt that much will change, given that the US has the fifth-highest per capita number of attorneys of all countries. But I can wish and dream. No, I don’t believe or advocate killing lawyers. However, I do wish a few of them could respond to this and explain how any of this makes sense to the consumer.
I am a retired MD passionate about health, medicine, gardening, culture, and food.
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