The Cocoon Of The Public Self

8/3/14

Each one of us has some flaw that we try very hard to hide. Each one of us is imperfect. And yet we are afraid to show these imperfections to the world. This is the cocoon of the public self. This is the place where we take refuge from the outside world and believe that by becoming our future self without letting anyone peek inside, we are safe. We imagine that we will emerge as a butterfly and no one will ever have to know the mysterious process that carried us from our humble beginnings as a lowly caterpillar to our marvelous new form. But we are wrong.

What we tend to overlook, or choose to ignore, is that most of us know just how imperfect we all are. Yet still we refuse to be vulnerable. But we don’t need to hide the process, people know how messy change is. And we don’t need to hide our flaws either, people already know we have them. In fact, sometimes our flaws can become our greatest gift.

The Cracked Pot

Maybe you have heard the story of the cracked pot but it was new to me this week and inspired this post. It goes something like this:

Once there was a small boy who was the waterbearer for his family, and he carried two pots on either side of a pole that he balanced across his neck.

And each day he carried them, back and forth, from his home to the river in the valley below. One of the pots had a large crack in its side and all the way home from the river the water would seep out of the crack and fall onto the path and when the waterbearer arrived at his home the pot would only be half full.

For two years this went on. The perfect pot on the one side doing its job perfectly and the cracked pot on the other feeling shame for its imperfection. Finally, in the summer of the second year the cracked pot was unable to take it any longer and she spoke to the waterbearer:

I am sorry for my imperfection. I am ashamed and feel guilty.

The waterbearer seemed surprised and he spoke back to the pot:

Have you not seen the flowers on the path? They are only on your side. I knew of your imperfection all along and I planted seeds there so that flowers would grow. And now all of the children of the village are happy to pick the flowers and adorn their hair and they take bundles of the flowers back to their families and decorate their tables. These things would not have been possible without your crack.

Kirk Wheeler is the host of Discover The Road where he writes about how to question everything, make progress, and embrace the journey. For ideas about what it means to live an authentic life, join his free newsletter.