Sex With Jerks: A How-Not-to Guide

Phil Witte
3 min readJul 4, 2020

You’re an intelligent woman. You’re attractive. You have a good career. So why do you keep having sex with jerks? For women like you I have written my latest book, “Smart Women, Sex With Jerks.”

A how-not-to book, “SW/SWJ” will help you to break the dreaded cycle of lonely desperation — sex with jerks — regret. The problem is that certain women, and by that I mean you, can’t seem to separate the sex with jerks from the jerks themselves. Indeed, sex with a jerk is often pleasurable, even exhilarating. The problem becomes apparent afterwards, when it dawns on you that the guy putting his socks back on is a smirking jerk.

I’m here to help.

Many women confess that the best of all possible worlds would be sex with a jerk but without the jerk. That’s like saying, “I’d like a juicy burger, but please hold the grease.” Can’t be done. Trust me, I know. I’ve spent many nights in singles bars studying the remarkable sexual success of these men.

How can you recognize a jerk before having sex with him? A sure-fire method of spotting the jerk in a roomful of people is to look for the man that you most want to have sex with. He will be a confident, almost arrogant guy, gliding around the room in fitted clothes that hint of a toned physique seldom seen in straight men.

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Phil Witte

Writes for Slackjaw, The American Bystander, Funny Times, Points in Case, and a blog for CartoonStock. Cartoons in publications in US & UK. toons.to/philwitte