The king’s plate.
A short tale about a man who believed his own hype…
Before the British colonised the land now known as Zimbabwe was the most powerful man in the land was the Ndebele king. Their rule lasted a couple of generations. Before their arrival the country (most of it anyway) was ruled by the Rozvi kings.
The founder of this empire was a man known as Changamire Dombo. His last name means "rock" in Shona, and his first name has become synonymous with "lord". He started his dynasty by booting Portugeese settlers out of the country. He was by all reports a great leader.
The same cannot be said of the last of the Rozvi kings.
Surprisingly little is said of him on Wikipedia and other sources. However, his reign is recent enough that stories have been passed down a few generations without losing much detail.
And doubtless gaining a few details along the way.
The excellent books on him by N.M Mutasa also did their part to keep the lore alive.
As a show of foresight on the part of his parents, they named him Chirisamhuru. The literal translation is "one who heards calves". This can also be taken to mean someone who pursues trivial matters, as does a child who keeps watch of the calves while older boys herd the cattle.
Not a name to inspire much awe and respect in one's subjects. We can certainly understand if the fellow had a Boy Named Sue syndrome.
The king's officials, naturally, couldn't show any disrespect for their ruler. They went out of their way to sing the king's praises. Like every kingdom there ever was, they claimed their king was ruler by divine right. In fact, God (or the gods, or the ancestors, or some divine beings) had given the king two hearts to differentiate him from the rest of us.
(He didn't in case you were wondering. The general who eventually destroyed his kingdom had him cut up so she could verify.)
Unfortunately king believed the hype.
All he needed was something to show just how far he was above ordinary kings. He considered building a gigantic stone city to show his greatness. Problem was, within the confines of his empire was located the deserted ancient city now known an the Great Zimbabwe monuments. This impressive feat of engineering had been raised a few centuries previously. Anything the Rozvi came up with was bound to pale in comparison.
The king’s advisors came up with a plan. Give the king the moon as a plate so he could eat on it. Who could doubt the king’s greatness when the rest of the world had to look at moonless nights because our king was using the moon for his feasts?
Naturally no one thought to calculate how big the moon actually is, it looks about the right size for a plate from down here. No one knew the distance either, but thats trivial details.
So the plan was very simple. Build a tall wooden structure that went all the way to the sky, then on the night of a full moon have people climb up to get the king his plate.
Now as you can imagine it takes a big structure to reach all the way to the sky. It takes a long time, with a lot of people working on the construction at the same time, to achieve the desired result. However, the king's servants were determined.
One day as the project was nearing completion, disaster struck. The design of the scaffording was solid enough to bear the weight of all the workers. However, it was made of wood. And termites tend to destroy any untreated wood lying about. As a result, the base was basically hollow wood.
The collapse of the scaffording, killing and injuring a considerable number of workers and onlookers, showed that maybe the king was as beloved of the gods as he would have you believe. It also marked the collapse of the kingdom that came a short time later.
