25 Ways To Write Emails Without Sounding Rude Or Angry

The Art Of Maintaining Professionalism Amidst Negative Emotions

Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity. — Nat Turner

In my line of work, I have seen it all, the customer who wants the 16th free change even though our policy only allows for 3, the co-worker who never reads his email (Ay catch your shade), the person who responds with 3 lines even when your initial request specifically spelt out DETAILED in caps (I hope my boss doesn’t read this post but in my defence, I did not mention his name).

Earlier this year, my colleague; Ibilate and I reached an epiphany, that no matter how exceptional you are, or how you communicate, you must encounter difficult people at different stages of your career, it is left for you to decide how you respond in these situations but bear in mind that in professional settings, temper tantrums are frowned upon.

Learning how to deal with difficult colleagues, vendors or customers is an art and if you want to excel in any professional environment, you must know how to convey information in a manner that is polite to the recipient no matter the negative emotion you might have.

Here are a few ways you can convey your anger or dissatisfaction when sending those emails :

1. Instead of: I do not report to you, stop sending me tasks
   Write: I will share your idea with my line manager to get his input and approval.
2. Instead of: Since you are such a smarty pant, do it yourself then
   Write: From this feedback, I believe that you have a deeper understanding and insight about this task. In that light, I would appreciate it for you to take lead while I learn from the strategies and decisions you would be deploying.
3. Instead of: You do not have a clue what you are doing or saying
   Write: I think you could do with more training on the (insert subject matter).
4. Instead of: You got me mistaken if you think I am going to do what you asked when I explicitly told you, I won’t.
   Write: I have attached a copy of my previous email for your reference, summarily my position has not altered. If there is new information or additional insights not previously discussed, please feel free to elaborate on them.
5. Instead of: This is the last change I am making for free!
   Write: Having sent in the first two drafts and before I go about the third one, I am eager to get your holistic input on the exact changes you require.
6. Instead of: Your suggestion makes no sense, let me school you.
   Write: Having read through your mail, I am certain we will be able to execute the task in a few other ways. I will share some ideas shortly.
7. Instead of: I have heard you but I won’t do it
   Write: I certainly agree with your input as they are valid and applicable. I will put all the ideas together and come up with a plan then share with you once I am done.
8. Instead of: You didn’t think this through
   Write: To be clear, are you saying that (insert ridiculous statement or scenario that further buttresses that what they said made no sense)? If so, (insert catastrophic result here, feel free to drag it on before ending with — ) Any direction that you can provide on the matter would be greatly appreciated.
9. Instead of: It’s obvious you can’t read.
   Write: Let me know If I should get someone to give you a call and explain.
10. Instead of: Better keep this same energy when we see.
    Write: Happy to discuss this in person anytime
11. Instead of: You never sent me that email, stop lying.
    Write: I never got your email, can you check to see if it got stuck in your outbox.
12. Instead of: You are been annoying and I am going to tell on you.
    Write: (cc their boss in the email) Per my last email, I’ve looped in John here to ensure we are on the same page.
13. Instead of: I am not working overtime for you.
    Write: Thank you so much for your email, however it is now close of business and this task will be actioned tomorrow.
14. Instead of: In case you didn’t get it the first time.
    Write: I have attached this again for easy reference
15. Instead of: This is the last time I am saying this
    Write: To reiterate
16. Instead of: Don’t try me again
    Write: Moving Forward
17. Instead of: There is no way you are getting the completed work in this short time frame
    Write: Just to manage expectations, the deadline for this task is a little tight considering we have only begun gathering the required collaterals. However, be rest assured that we will do our best.
18. Instead of: I am not wrong, you are!
    Write: According to my records
19. Instead of: You could have simply googled this information
    Write: You can locate this information [here] for future reference
20. Instead of: You are unprofessional and uncouth.
    Write: In the spirit of excellence, I believe that we should not(then go on to state all the stuff they did wrong).
21. Instead of: I am sending this email so I have evidence of our discussion
    Write: As discussed on (insert medium of communication)
22. Instead of: Do your job and I will do mine
    Write: Thank you very much for your input, I will go through them and come up with a plan that I believe will (insert the task deliverables)
23. Instead of: Let me show you how the professionals do it
    Write: There seems to be a disconnect between our emails, Allow me to present you with my angle, then we can sync and talk about how to proceed.
24. Instead of: I hate your idea.
    Write: Let’s circle back on this.
25. Instead of: You know exactly what you agreed to, don’t try me
    Write: Perhaps there was some confusion on your part regarding our last correspondence, please allow me to provide some clarity.

Regardless of the email option you choose; remember the golden rule, all emails must end with one of the “Regards” — kind regards, best regards or warmest regards.