M̶e̶n̶’̶s̶ ̶M̶e̶n̶t̶a̶l̶ ̶H̶e̶a̶l̶t̶h̶. SILENCE! MEN DON’T CRY
Yesterday September 10th was world suicide prevention day. Across the globe, various groups and societies came together to raise awareness about how we can build a future where fewer people die from suicide. Suicide as a whole is an issue that desperately needs more conversations around it as it is estimated that one person takes their own life every 40 seconds. Which means that in the amount of time I take to write this five minutes post, at least seven people would have died as a result of suicide.
And, this crisis is particularly prevalent among men. Sadly, there are plenty of facts and stats out there that support this notion. Suicide remains the biggest killer of young people between the age of 15–24 and the statistic that I find most unsettling of all, is that male suicide rates are four times higher than female rates in the world.
This is not hard to believe; because historically, men’s mental health has been neglected by everyone, including men themselves. Even today, this trend continues; there is a wide-spread delusion that men should not suffer from mental health issues. Well excuse me, I must have missed the “no-depression” vaccine given to male children at age one.
The reason this delusion continues is that over the years, men have been influenced by religious and socio-economic expectations that require them to act strong. They have been ingrained from young on the cultural ideal of manliness where strength is everything and emotions are a weakness; where sex and brutality are yardsticks by which men are regarded as “real men”, while “feminine” traits such as vulnerability or something as natural as crying — are the means by which your status as “man” can be taken away. So when men suffer from mental health issues, they shut themselves off, refuse to seek help and remain adamant that they can get through on their own.
Having a mental health issue is horrible, and it can leave you believing (wrongly) that you are weak and less of a human. And, when we take the stereotypical view that men need to be strong into account, you can see how this view is an attack on the help required by men suffering from mental health issues. We need to do our best to dispel these stereotypes and encourage men to speak out.
A problem shared is a problem solved” as they say. Opening up doesn’t immediately solve all problems, but the journey is a lot harder, and more dangerous if men are left to walk it on their own. Men should be encouraged that talking about their problems doesn’t make them any less of a man. What makes a man is his biological construction, and not the way that he carries himself or the issues that he suffers from.
I find it appalling that in this developed world full of technological and medical advancements, that the thing men should be most scared of is themselves. It’s not a disease or illness for which we have no cure. It is something which should be entirely preventable. No one should have to go through mental illness, or suicidal thoughts, alone.
We have a duty as humans to ask the men who are our family and friends how they’re doing; make it a mission to ask them how they are regularly, and actually mean it. If you believe something is wrong, dig deeper and get them to open up to you. Often, people want to talk; they just don’t know how to. Giving them that free, no-judgement space can be beneficial to them. Some conversations may be incredibly difficult and awkward; particularly those surrounding suicidal thoughts, but by just listening and allowing them to spill everything that bothers them completely, we could be saving a life. Sometimes, you don’t even need to say anything; you could just sit there, listen, and tell them you have their back no matter what. If you have a family member who suffers from mental health issues, ensure you have a reliable support network around them.
Male suicide is a crisis in the world. We need to significantly remove the pressure we put on men and remember that they too are humans that need all the love and support that they can get. Allow our men to cry (or not cry) in peace. Encourage them to speak out because it could save their lives.
